Are you Gay?? a self examination for men

[DUCKAHOLIC]

1. If you are over forty and you have a washboard stomach, you're gay.
It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have
spent your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog,
but gay -- it grooms itself constantly, never scratches itself, has a
delicate touch, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call
a dog...
"Killer, come here! I said get your booty over here, Killer!" Now think
about how you call a cat..."Hey boy, come to daddy."
Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed you're such a homosexicle.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
nonsense....rest assured, you are major "brokeback". A straight man
only sucks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts,
pickled pigs feet, or tits.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a
parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is
his bathroom; he goes wherever he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, dude - you own
designer kneepads. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf
Soy Latte".
If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there
too.

6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four
different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as
well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory
space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out
chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is, you're gay. And if you can
name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you're a butt
pirate - no question.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying
to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk
at a slow-azz driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he
needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a burger, or hold his
beer.

8. If you do not give this to all the males you think need it
because you are afraid of hurting their feelings, then you are
definitely on the verge of being a true rectum ranger!

[deltadukman]

. If you can pick out chartreuse

erroroneus!!!! thats my favorite color spinnerbait and that is by far un-gay

[teul2]

. If you can pick out chartreuse

erroroneus!!!! thats my favorite color spinnerbait and that is by far un-gay

+1

[mrkrash]

good point

[Bankermane]

i went out to eat with a duckhunting group. They order Fois Gras for appetizers. Think they would smoke that mule? Oh yeah, and they fought for the wine list. Slept with one eye open.

[farmerc83]

. If you can pick out chartreuse

erroroneus!!!! thats my favorite color spinnerbait and that is by far un-gay

This explains so much.

[regishay]

A straight man only sucks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts,
pickled pigs feet, or tits.

has to be the best line of the whole post,

[DUCKAHOLIC]

. If you can pick out chartreuse

erroroneus!!!! thats my favorite color spinnerbait and that is by far un-gay

+1

Yall are both pole smokers.................any way ya cut it that spinnerbait is yellar....just a different variation of the color yellar..........

[deltadukman]

Yall are both pole smokers.................any way ya cut it that spinnerbait is yellar....just a different variation of the color yellar..........

i disagree...its inbetween yellar and green...so i guess we will grellar

think of it like an elcamino...part car, part truck....ca-truck
(boy is it slow around here)

[Dr. B]

# 5 is halarious!!!

Dr. B
Montgomery

[4dawgma]

you're dying to tune a meat whistle.

now that's funny!

[Blackduck]

i went out to eat with a duckhunting group. They order Fois Gras for appetizers. Think they would smoke that mule? Oh yeah, and they fought for the wine list. Slept with one eye open.

I know some "fois gras" eaters. Probably same guys. Bunch of KC drunkards.

[h2o_dog]

Note to the world: I AIN'T GAY.

and I don't need a stinkin' test to confirm it.

I know what color chartreuse is.

I'll eat fois gras if and when I get the chance.

Merry Christmas!

[Doc & Nash]

Imangine your self as GH22 and answer those questions....

[Dutch Dog]

Bend over and spell R-U-N and say the word "YET".