JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH

[richard b evers]

JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her
mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?""
The mother replied, "Because white is the color of happiness, and
today is the happiest day of her life."
The child thought about this for a moment then said, "So why is the
groom wearing black?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she
could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear
Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be
late!"
While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting
her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and
started running again! As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord,
please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first
boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a
poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words
on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words
on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect
all the money!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no
male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she
wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want
them to take me out when I'm dead."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you
had to arrest your own mother?" He answered, "Call for backup."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with
them to Jerusalem .. A small child replied, "They couldn't get a
babysitter."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five
and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father
and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us
how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not
kill."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including
human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve
was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill,
and she said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded,
"I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong
preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all
this Satan stuff?"
The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out.
It's probably just your Dad."

[cwink]

[SFDdelta1]

+1

[crosshair]

Enjoyed the jokes.

[msudawg8087]

Good stuff!

[K-DUB]

Is it just me or when it comes time to tell a joke, I never can remember exactly how it went.
You here hundreds of them but cant seem to pull one out in the clutch.

I must be getting old.