Ole Miss Fans
Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 11:55 am
Subject: For Ole Miss Fans
-I believe it was William Faulkner who said of Ole Miss fans,
"They are as haughty as the French, more arrogant than the Crimson
Tide,
exceeding even the British in snobbery, all while carrying a list of
accolades shorter than Vanderbilt's." Actually I said all of that,
but you get the point.
Who knows where this unfounded arrogance comes from? It's seems
their seersucker suits give them super powers, where they can
convince
themselves that North-Central Mississippi is the center of high
society.
You can try and reason with them, but you will fail. Truth is you
can
only argue so long with a man wearing a bow tie before you burst
into
hysterical laughter.
You are better off to just let them be. Sip their mint juleps,
flirt with their daughters, and pocket some of their silverware when
they are not looking.
Perhaps much of their superciliousness is due to the fact Ole
Miss has remained faithful to an Old South lifestyle. Perhaps
superciliousness is the longest word I've ever typed. But in recent
years The University of Mississippi (School Motto: Two Books, Twelve
Teeth, and a Dream), has undergone a serious image makeover. When
you go
to Oxford these days you will not hear the Ole Miss Band play Dixie,
and
you will not see Colonel Reb walking the sidelines. But
traditionalist
need not worry, Ole Miss will continue its tradition of cheering
during
the opposing teams Alma Mater. So while you may forget their
Southern
heritage, you'll never forget that they are jackasses.
Another tradition that remains intact is tailgating in the
Grove. According to http://www.olemisssports.com
<http://www.olemisssports.com/> , the Grove is a "10-acre grassy
plot of ground in the center of campus which is heavily shaded by large oak
trees." According to Chaste Chad, the Grove is a big field where Ole
Miss fans eat corndogs off fine china and put candelabras on card
tables. I guess it is fun to dress up fancy and pretend you are not
in Mississippi, but who are they kidding? During the off-season, the
Grove is used to reenact Civil War battles.
And I don't want to offend any Civil War reenactors, because
hey carry muskets. But why relive a war we lost? I love Memphis and
its history, but I'm not about to reenact the '85 Black and Blue Bowl.
Despite the sleepy Old South exterior, Oxford is fast becoming
known for its overuse of a modern medical marvel; namely, the breast
implant. Campus is covered with scantily clad coeds, sporting the
nicest boobs daddy's money can buy. Being chaste and engaged, I must
keep my eyes to myself. However you dear reader are free to enjoy
thesestrippers-to-be and their leather mini-skirts. Just be sure and act
like a gentleman, because daddy has been drinking in the Grove all
morning, and he brought his musket.
Way down yonder in the land of cotton, Eli's gone, your team is
rotten. Look away, look away, look away. Dixie Land-
---author unknown
-I believe it was William Faulkner who said of Ole Miss fans,
"They are as haughty as the French, more arrogant than the Crimson
Tide,
exceeding even the British in snobbery, all while carrying a list of
accolades shorter than Vanderbilt's." Actually I said all of that,
but you get the point.
Who knows where this unfounded arrogance comes from? It's seems
their seersucker suits give them super powers, where they can
convince
themselves that North-Central Mississippi is the center of high
society.
You can try and reason with them, but you will fail. Truth is you
can
only argue so long with a man wearing a bow tie before you burst
into
hysterical laughter.
You are better off to just let them be. Sip their mint juleps,
flirt with their daughters, and pocket some of their silverware when
they are not looking.
Perhaps much of their superciliousness is due to the fact Ole
Miss has remained faithful to an Old South lifestyle. Perhaps
superciliousness is the longest word I've ever typed. But in recent
years The University of Mississippi (School Motto: Two Books, Twelve
Teeth, and a Dream), has undergone a serious image makeover. When
you go
to Oxford these days you will not hear the Ole Miss Band play Dixie,
and
you will not see Colonel Reb walking the sidelines. But
traditionalist
need not worry, Ole Miss will continue its tradition of cheering
during
the opposing teams Alma Mater. So while you may forget their
Southern
heritage, you'll never forget that they are jackasses.
Another tradition that remains intact is tailgating in the
Grove. According to http://www.olemisssports.com
<http://www.olemisssports.com/> , the Grove is a "10-acre grassy
plot of ground in the center of campus which is heavily shaded by large oak
trees." According to Chaste Chad, the Grove is a big field where Ole
Miss fans eat corndogs off fine china and put candelabras on card
tables. I guess it is fun to dress up fancy and pretend you are not
in Mississippi, but who are they kidding? During the off-season, the
Grove is used to reenact Civil War battles.
And I don't want to offend any Civil War reenactors, because
hey carry muskets. But why relive a war we lost? I love Memphis and
its history, but I'm not about to reenact the '85 Black and Blue Bowl.
Despite the sleepy Old South exterior, Oxford is fast becoming
known for its overuse of a modern medical marvel; namely, the breast
implant. Campus is covered with scantily clad coeds, sporting the
nicest boobs daddy's money can buy. Being chaste and engaged, I must
keep my eyes to myself. However you dear reader are free to enjoy
thesestrippers-to-be and their leather mini-skirts. Just be sure and act
like a gentleman, because daddy has been drinking in the Grove all
morning, and he brought his musket.
Way down yonder in the land of cotton, Eli's gone, your team is
rotten. Look away, look away, look away. Dixie Land-
---author unknown
