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Wife For Sale

Posted: Sat Apr 13, 2002 6:41 pm
by Lacuna
I've decided to take up wild safari hunting because I can't shoot but 4 ducks. I'm going to shoot me an Elamoose or something.

It's more expensive so it must be better.

I am going to have to sell my wife so that I can spen that money on myself instead.
She spends too much money to be married to a wild game safari hunter.

So I'm going to sell her and shoot me an Elamoose.

She likes flowers but runs from frogs.
She yells "Shoot Him!" at the 4 way stop sign before I do.
She cooks a mean Thanksgiving spread from all the practice.
Just before I yell "WHO took my THIS"
She points to exactly where I left it.
All except my boat plug which she took when the boat stood up in the back yard by itself.
I had to rake the front yard to get that one back.
I have never felt more stupid in my life than when she stands in the utility hall with her hands on her hips, looking at mud tracked in the house and then looking up rather, "Did you do this puppy dog?" at me.
Kind of turns you on or something.

Anyway she is for sale.

If you take her this week I'll throw in the duck boat but you will have to get the plug from her.

Wife For Sale

Posted: Sat Apr 13, 2002 7:02 pm
by JimAire
Could you post a picture of the duck boat?

Wife For Sale

Posted: Sun Apr 14, 2002 12:59 am
by Wingman
Do you take Mastercard?

Wingman
ISAIAH 40:31

Wife For Sale

Posted: Sun Apr 14, 2002 11:47 pm
by dedux
Please supply the following info:

1) Age?
2) Measurements?
3) Leaks?
4) Wide bottom?
5) Narrow bottom?
6) Bottom worn out?
7) Strokes for motor to crank?
8) Motor blown?
9) Rusty holes?
10) Good hole-shot or blows out?
11) Broken seats or ribs?
12) Push-pole necessary?
13) Wide back-end?
14) Firm front-end?
15) Any really bad cracks?
16) Any really big cracks?
17) Flat or pointed front-end?
18) Ever used for hand-grabbing?
19) Ever used fishing with nightcrawlers?
20) Smell kinda like fish?

Wife For Sale

Posted: Mon Apr 15, 2002 9:00 am
by Lacuna
I shot some ducks out of it, it's good enough.

My wife is good enough too but like I said, I need to shoot an elamoose.

Wife For Sale

Posted: Mon Apr 15, 2002 12:27 pm
by crow
Lacuna, where abouts would one go to shoot one of these elamooses? My guess would be somewhere in the state of Elanois. Am I close? I'm guessing a close second spot would be in the Moosissippi delta. [img]images/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img]

Wife For Sale

Posted: Mon Apr 15, 2002 12:45 pm
by Lacuna
HHmffff!!!!

That just shows how much you know about Elamoose hunting!

Everybody knows you hunts for Elamoose
in Africanada.

Wife For Sale

Posted: Mon Apr 15, 2002 1:24 pm
by deltaduxs
If you kill a Elamoose please post a picture of it.

this is the funiest thing I have read in a while

Wife For Sale

Posted: Mon Apr 15, 2002 1:54 pm
by Welldoggie
Lacuna, Why go all the way to Africanada when Memphrica is soooo much closer and the waterin holes are easily accessible on nice paved roads (unless you're huntin on the south leg of I-240 around Perkins).

No doubt you could scare up whole villages (heck, over half of the city) of "native" guides to make it easier.

[ April 15, 2002: Message edited by: welldoggie ]

Wife For Sale

Posted: Mon Apr 15, 2002 9:32 pm
by Hung Up
The rule of supply and demand says that she won't be worth a thing, but have fun trying!

Wife For Sale

Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2002 7:54 am
by Unkljohn
Hey Lacuna
Can this woman clean an elamoose??? I've got one already, but she never wants to help with the cleaning of any of the elamooses that I kill.
JT [img]images/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img]

Wife For Sale

Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2002 10:52 am
by Lacuna
I dont know if she can clean one, I can't afford to go Elamoose hunting until I get rid of her. [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

Wife For Sale

Posted: Mon Apr 22, 2002 8:49 pm
by Photoman
Well I aint got no reply but I will say..this thread had me rolling in the floor!
[img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_smile.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_smile.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

Wife For Sale

Posted: Mon Apr 22, 2002 9:06 pm
by Lacuna
Glad you got to enjoy it before it was deletinated by the deletination police who go around deletinating anything that has any humor or intelligence in it to appease the deletination league.

People with power in the web world turn into socialist HEHEHEHEHEHE

Free speech?

American Values?

Yeah Right.......

Wife For Sale

Posted: Tue Apr 23, 2002 10:36 am
by GulfCoast
Geez, I have not deleted anything in 3 or 4 months. I must be slipping.