Hunting Buddies

[noles97]

There have been a bunch of posts now that season is closed about the things that have made the season special. It is important to always try and focus on the good things that have taken place throughout the season. I however have had a less than stellar season and not because of the ducks or any of that.

This season started off with a lot of promise. I purchased some land with a buddy of mine that I have been hunting with for years. There was a lot of work as well as time that we put into this property but it was something that we both really wanted to do. I know that people say you should not mix friendship with money but I honestly don't believe that was an issue here. We started off the season on opening weekend and had a good time, there was a lot of anticipation because it was our first hunt on our own property. We did fairly well, good enough that we were both satisfied with the prospects of the place and we did not have an expectation to kill a ton of ducks the first year.

The second trip that we made together it all unravelled. I was not going on the trip originally but my plans got cancelled for the next week so I asked if I could join my buddy on his hunt. He was having another guest up with him. In hindsight I should have just bit the bullet and not gone at all because it was evident from the start that he was not thrilled with me going which was a total surprise to me and caught me off guard to say the least. I guess that I was not aware that there was any problems prior to that, maybe his guest (whom I know a little bit as well, did not want me to go). To make a long story short by the end of the weekend we are in a serious confrontation, which I admittedly am partly to blame for. We have spoken about 5 times since this happened (2 weeks prior to Christmas) and this is someone that I used to go to lunch or hunt with at least 3 or 4 times a week.

I read on a post here recently that said, "good hunting spots are hard to find and good friends are harder to find" That got me to thinking about this issue again. This guy was one of my best friends at least he was before all this happened. I guess that what I am getting at is this: Hunting is important to all of us here, this much I am sure. However, it is not worth the loss of a good friend and unfortunately I had to learn that the hard way. I don't think that we will ever hunt together again, and in fact with the exception of owning the property together we have not even talked about anything except essentials for the place.

Duck hunting is a great sport guys, I love it as much as anything else, but the biggest part of it is the friendships and bonds that you make with the people that you hunt with. Maybe I was mistaken and he and I were not as good of friends as I thought we were. I do know that I sure tried everything to make ammends with him but some things you just can't fix it seems.

To go back and focus on the good of the season, I did have some great hunts and made some new friends because I had to find other people to hunt with. I have, god willing quite a few more hunting seasons ahead of me and I learn something new every year, not always a good lesson but something new none the less.

[torch]

Noles I know that a lot of freinds become enemies when it comes to duck hunting. 90% of the time its over something silly. I would try to apoligize even if it wasn't my fault and try to salvage a relationship.
It's hard I know but if you were buddies before I would try to make it work.

[Hambone]

Is your place only big enough to accomodate 2 hunters at a time? I would hate to know that the only time I could have a guest is when the other owner is not around.

I agree with what Torch said. We had 2 of our guys get into it last year and there were serious friendships at odds. I persuaded one of them to call the other and apologize for any problems that he had caused or was perceived to have caused. The other guy then made the same apology, they shook hands and now, if there's an issue over where to hunt, they talk it over and work it out.

You don't get many days a year to enjoy duck hunting- why spoil the experience by squabbling?

[dukbum]

sorry to hear about that...hope you can make ends wif your buddy! i also made sum new good friends this year and hope to keep em around too

[Canton_Coot_Killer]

Noles, sounds like to me that the guys an "turd-cutter".... It's your place too and if he's going to get mad about you going because your plans changed, he doesn't sound like much of a friend to me.....

Plus, you said you made the effort to mend fences and he wants no part of it... Sad, but you find out how people really are sometimes when things don't go their way.... Good luck

[Shoot]

There is not a duck in the world worth losing a true friend over.
Also a true friend would not let this kind of thing come between you.My $0.02 worth.

[Ducks be us]

Noles...That is truly a sad situation. Y'all need ta go throw back a few over a pooltable....then fight it out. All true friends will get moody with each other. Spend a little time apart...then fix it. If there aint a woman involved...y'all should be able to work it out like MEN If not...sell your half to the biggest jerk you know, and get out from under it...A spot like that ya need to enjoy...not be worried about the next confrontation. Y'all have a nice day!

[greenheadmachine]

Shoot said :

There is not a duck in the world worth losing a true friend over.
Also a true friend would not let this kind of thing come between you.My $0.02 worth

Very well put. I think that if he let something like a duck hunting trip get between you then he would have let something bigger really get in the way and the friendship would've deplinished anyway.
He might have told his other buddy that the land was all his and knew if you were there that the topic would have came up and he would have been caught in a lie. I've had this happen and some land that I was told a "friend " owned and almost got a damn tresspassing ticket because of a lie. I'd get out of the property with him. Buy it from him or let him buy your part.

[SoftCall]

hunting brings out the bad side of people - it's called greed and territory. It's a damn shame that a duck hole can drive a wedge into friendships. Take Hambone's advice

[mason1203]

ask anyone who has ever been in one, a partnership has ruined more friendships than anything on earth. especially when there is money involved

[noles97]

The dispute was not over the land it's self or where and when to hunt. I think that in the end it came down to how people deal with conflict. I am the type of person that for good or bad can get pretty wound up in a hurry. I also tend to let it all out at the time and then its over for me, and I can move on. I said some things that morning that were out of line but not to the extent that I was talking about wives or mothers or any of that but I did give him a pretty good cussing which I also got back from him. As far as I was concerned it was all over after that and we could get back to hunting. Unfortunately he did not and still does not want to, or have the desire to let the past be the past. I apologized for my part in the whole thing, actually I did that right after it happened. To this day I have never gotten a word of apology or anything remotely claiming any responsibility for the whole thing? Maybe he feels like he had no part in anything wrong with the situation, who knows.

The point is that this is someone that I hunted with for a few years and I never really knew how he looked our friendship or lack thereof until this incident. I am most likely going to have to purchase his share of the property which in all reality is not that big, the property it's self is only 120 acres. I guess that you just don't ever know how things are going to play out in even what appears to be the most predictable of situations.

Unfortunately I have all but given up on this friendship because I have no reason to believe otherwise. The bad part is that we are in this property together, his family owns another large tract of land next to mine and we have always been very cooperative in the past. I guess that like the old saying goes, everything changes with time. Just make darn sure that you guys enjoy every minute out there hunting, I know I will and this is just a minor setback.

[noles97]

"There is not a duck in the world worth losing a true friend over.
Also a true friend would not let this kind of thing come between you".

Shoot: That is exactly the way I looked at the whole situation and I was floored to find out that this was not the case from his end. Words are just words in my book, and though sometimes people get out of line with what they say, it is not something that you have to live and die by.

[Canton_Coot_Killer]

Hey Noles, I won't be your friend and you can sell me his half, that way if we ever have a disagreement, we can just take it outside and beat the hell out of each other... Then move on and kill some ducks!!!

Seriously though, the problems sound like they are just beginning.... Now you have to either buy his half or him buy yours...... That should be interesting...

You can come and go hunting with me and my buddy, we usually cuss each other blue streaks but as soon as the last word is spoken, it's over... By the way, I'm usually the one who's right.....

[Mud]

Noles,
Hang tuff and eat some crow. I have had a knock drag out fight in the duck blind with my best friend (still is). Afterwards we were dipping hats in the water and wiping the blood off of each other. I think it actually made us better friends!! We laugh all the time about what we call the great "duck blind confrontation".
The thing to keep in mind id that every time you duck hunt you will thnk back on your arguement and that will taint the rest of your hunts!
At least make the effort, put yo hand out first, and then if it doesn't work out at least you tried.