Back on the market
Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 8:14 am
After learning about boosters from a certain school allowing recruits to hunt their land I have decided to officially place my athletic abilities back on the market. With 2 years of eligibility left, I should be a hot ticket item. Here is the resume:
Your not looking at some ordinary chump. Your looking at a tried and true Alpha Male. Two time Ironman, multiple marathon finisher. 1998 Soccer Striker of the year in MS with more than 40 goals in the Spring Season alone. I have been known as dominator and dreamcrusher during every athletic event I have participated in. In little league basketball officials raised the goal to 15' due to I kept breaking the glass with my powerful dunks (Think of Spud Web on STEROIDS
). At 13 years old I was knocking baseballs out of Culkin field that were landing in Valley Park, just cause I could. The local BMX track had a rut in the middle of the track due to excessive rpm from my powerful pedal stroke (and I typically only pedaled with 1 leg). I out swam ski natiques in Eagle Lake during high school (and kept water from getting in my beer during the swim). Raced Usain Bolt in the 200m where I finished in 1200m in 9 seconds (he quit the race after my second stride). I have the ability to kick field goals from 192 yards. Average punting distance hasn't been measured due the ball landing somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean. I can catch a football with one hand slung from a tank equipped with a 122 mm Howitzer. As you could imagine there are many many more attributes I could list but I don't want to seem like I am bragging.
So, what the said booster shall receive is a multi-athlete. This includes being able to play QB and wide receiver at the same time. As well as being able to be a pitcher and outfielder at the same time. I will ensure 2 NCAA national championships in basket ball and 4 NCAA final four appearances with only 2 years of eligibility left. As your cross country team lead as the rest of the chumps shoot for a 10k I will live up to its name and run Across the dang country.
I am not asking for much in return. I know the boosters are wondering what it will take to land this ALPHA MALE. Access to some decent deer hunting land near Fitler or a certain river island as well as a few (60 day) duck hunts to Fighting Bayou could potentially land your school numerous national championships.
PM for details, I don't want the NCAA in my business.
Your not looking at some ordinary chump. Your looking at a tried and true Alpha Male. Two time Ironman, multiple marathon finisher. 1998 Soccer Striker of the year in MS with more than 40 goals in the Spring Season alone. I have been known as dominator and dreamcrusher during every athletic event I have participated in. In little league basketball officials raised the goal to 15' due to I kept breaking the glass with my powerful dunks (Think of Spud Web on STEROIDS
). At 13 years old I was knocking baseballs out of Culkin field that were landing in Valley Park, just cause I could. The local BMX track had a rut in the middle of the track due to excessive rpm from my powerful pedal stroke (and I typically only pedaled with 1 leg). I out swam ski natiques in Eagle Lake during high school (and kept water from getting in my beer during the swim). Raced Usain Bolt in the 200m where I finished in 1200m in 9 seconds (he quit the race after my second stride). I have the ability to kick field goals from 192 yards. Average punting distance hasn't been measured due the ball landing somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean. I can catch a football with one hand slung from a tank equipped with a 122 mm Howitzer. As you could imagine there are many many more attributes I could list but I don't want to seem like I am bragging.So, what the said booster shall receive is a multi-athlete. This includes being able to play QB and wide receiver at the same time. As well as being able to be a pitcher and outfielder at the same time. I will ensure 2 NCAA national championships in basket ball and 4 NCAA final four appearances with only 2 years of eligibility left. As your cross country team lead as the rest of the chumps shoot for a 10k I will live up to its name and run Across the dang country.
I am not asking for much in return. I know the boosters are wondering what it will take to land this ALPHA MALE. Access to some decent deer hunting land near Fitler or a certain river island as well as a few (60 day) duck hunts to Fighting Bayou could potentially land your school numerous national championships.
PM for details, I don't want the NCAA in my business.
