Man Rules

[duramax]

Properly secure a boat, and if for some reason said boat was lost, find it in less than 36hrs.

Asking 8 months later on a public hunting forum doesn't count?

[Smoke68]

Properly secure a boat, and if for some reason said boat was lost, find it in less than 36hrs.

It will never end. My favorite thread of all time.

[slayem]

You fellas have about summed it up!

[southernvaughan]

Know how to put up vegetables without freezing them, pickle stuff, make jelly, choic tour own boat fourwheeler truck or car, make good biscuits and cornbread, back a boat down a ramp.drive a tractor, bulldozer, excavator, wire a light switch or outlet, know how to drink alcohol and not act like a damn fool!

[huntersmky]

Properly secure a boat, and if for some reason said boat was lost, find it in less than 36hrs.

best one yet

[rjohnson]

, be able to walk into one side of DNF and out the other with nothing more than a compass

If you can't do it without even a compass you need to stay out of the woods or at least near the road! Trees lean south, Moss grows on the northside of the tree. Who needs a compass? Also a compass don't know where the shallow spots in the sloughs are either. That only comes with experience!

True a compass shouldn't be needed but the gps nuts have to start somewhere. And the back a trailer down the boat ramp quickly thing my goodness you can lose faith in humanity real quick at a boat ramp watching the idiots back a boat trailer.

The quote about about being a jack of all trades and master is one my grandfather said to me several times. I use Google A LOT but most of the time it is to get a detailed question answered about a process or task I understand or figure out about 95% of on my own.

Be able to build a fire with one match and whatever you can find in the woods. It's always amazing to watch people try to light a log with a piece of newspaper under it and wonder why it won't catch on fire. Gotta make the pyramid starting with leaves, then twigs, then small branches, and lastly the logs. Learned that camping with granddad at Noxubee.

[woody]

I got this in an email from a buddy. I'm sure some of you guys have seen this before. Just thought I would share. Man Month in November.

Below are the final rules of Man Month. All rules are mandatory. Please read through them as some rules have changed since the preliminary rules.

1. Must have facial hair (mustache, beard, goatee, etc.)

2. No hair cuts whatsoever.....no hairstyling, no hair product

3. Any combination of two ranch, camping, or fishing trips are required

4. One four day bender is required, and one all nighter is required within this bender

5. Showering is discouraged and not allowed more that 4 times a week….no showering on the weekends

6. No light beer. No girly drinks or shots (cosmos, red snappers, cape cods, martinis etc….acceptable drinks include jager, whiskey and coke, long island ice tea, etc….) If you need further clarification, please ask Dawid or Bobby.

7. Plaid or flannel is required on casual Friday and encouraged as much as possible. No wearing pink or purple.

8. You must spend at least one Saturday morning looking under the hood of your car for no apparent reason.

9. No eating salads for a meal. Beef and pork are encouraged. Chicken is allowed only if beef and pork are not available. However, buffalo wings are acceptable in any situation.

10. At least one time you shall wear the same apparel for two consecutive days.

11. No light cigarettes.....and at one point you must smoke cigarettes, cigars, or chew tobacco around a campfire.

12. Cabela's, Bass Pro Shop, Lowe's, or Home Depot must be visited and a purchase is required. You must purchase something that increases your manliness.

The rest of these are not necessarily rules but suggestions to try and follow in the attempt to be as manly as humanly possible.

13. Acceptable drinks/suggested drinks should be whiskey straight as 1st drink at the bar every time during man month.

14. Wear boots with everything

15. Eating dinner standing up

16. Dumping with the door open

17. Wearing white tees only

18. No doctor trips of any kind

19. Driving with your windows down

20. Eating chili

21. Check tire pressure once a week

22. Pissing outside / backyard

23. Brut after shave only

24. All you can eat buffets are highly recommended and taking a date is also required

25. Driving in 4 wheel drive regardless if you need it or not

26. No condiments ex: ketchup, bbq, mustard, ranch... only the natural
juices of the meat

27. Tooth picks in mouth as much as possible

28. Eating fried foods

29. Go to truck stops and talk to truckers

30. Go get the mail in your underwear

31. Pleasuring women sexually

32. Yard work with beer in hand

33. Calling someone kid or son

34. Eating beans

35. Ride horse without saddle

36. Cussing and swear around other men

37. Sleeping without pillow

38. Unprotected sex

39. Visit strip club minimum of twice during the month

40. Spit and scratch as much as possible

41. Watch TV with hands in pants……minimum 30min

42. Sleep in favorite recliner at least once a week

43. Eat pizza during Monday night football…meat lovers

44. Look directly into the sun

45. Chop wood/ your own wood or a neighbors wood

46. Watch at least two episodes of Walker Texas Ranger

47. Tell boss your leaving early

48. Wake up early and drink coffee while reading the paper as the sun come up at least once a week

49. No use of nail clippers

50. Eat beef jerky

51. Hammer something

52. Give advice to younger kids

53. Pay for something in change

54. Eat a rare steak

55. Tailgate for any type of sporting event

56. Admire neighbor yard work

57. No MTV at any means

58. Shooting a gun

59. Carry pocket knife

60. No use of maps

61. Pet a dog

62. Play cards for money or drinks

63. Drink out of Mason jar

64. Slap a girl on the ass/ if she needs it or if she doesn’t need it

65. Fight for the fun of it or to see how tough you are

66. Hunt legally or illegally

67. Road trip

68. Masturbate

69. Watch porn

70. Buy Nov issue playboy

71. Dig a hole for the hell of it (do not wear gloves in doing so, to create the calluses

72. Answer to only dad, daddy, poppy, Mr. or Sir

73. Watch a minimum of two John Wayne movies

74. Use whiskey in place of aspirin

75. Wave to every passing car

76. Demand to speak to a manager

77. Show off chest hair

78. Collard shirts, minimum two buttons undone

79. Own a business it must be open 24 hrs

80. Listen to Johnny Cash and try to model your life after his

81. Change a flat

82. DO WORK

83. Can not wash bugs off windshield

84. Drink straight from the milk jug

85. If given the option of hot or mild, you must always choose hot

86. Ride a Harley

87. No lotion at any time unless complying with rule 68

If you are not man enough to accept these rules and regulations, then you need to move your ass straight to December. IF YOU’RE SCARED GO TO CHURCH!!!

[edub20]

I got this in an email from a buddy. I'm sure some of you guys have seen this before. Just thought I would share. Man Month in November.

Below are the final rules of Man Month. All rules are mandatory. Please read through them as some rules have changed since the preliminary rules.


68. Masturbate

69. Watch porn

70. Buy Nov issue playboy

This is obviously not written by a dude. Those 3 are out of order...

[greenheadgrimreaper]

I looove taking guys camping that have never been, especially ultralight camping. Ol boy thinks he's a country boy till you stick his booty out in the woods with a hammock, a knife and some basic food necessities. If you can camp for days at a time you can do anything. Talk about improvising.

Oh and never tell another man two in the pink one in the stink really works.

[edub20]

I looove taking guys camping that have never been, especially ultralight camping. Ol boy thinks he's a country boy till you stick his booty out in the woods with a hammock, a knife and some basic food necessities. If you can camp for days at a time you can do anything. Talk about improvising.

Oh and never tell another man two in the pink one in the stink really works.

[the tree]

That lady part we all seek is only a 2-3 inch split at the end of 30 feet of intestines.

[JDgator]

Know how to start a charcoal grill
Fix basic computer problems
Carry a pocket knife

[JFW2006]

take care of your kids and hold a full time job.

[teul2]

carry a SHARP pocket knife. A dull knife is pointless (ha, get it)
A man should be able to (and want to for that matter) be able to care for his own child with out the help or consultation of the childs mother. In the case of it being another's child, consultaion is ok.
Be a good father to your child or father figure to another's child.
Be ok with the fact that you look silly entertaining you small child in public.


You can kinda tell what I am doing with most of my days lately, can't ya?

[rjohnson]

Be ok with the fact that you look silly entertaining you small child in public

This just happens and you don't even realize it until you see someone looking at you like you have lost your mind.

Also aside from taking care of your family a man should seek God daily and be the spiritual leader of the home.