DuckSouth.com

Busier than a 1 legged man at a butt kicking contest.....or

Busier than a 1 armed wallpaper hanger.

Sumbitch has got more money than Monica Lewinsky's tip jar.

when commenting on how extraordinary or how good something is, it could be said that

"its kinda like a soft dick, just hard to beat"

the doc

Colder than a dead well digger's a.. in January.

Hotter than a p...y in a pepper patch.

Call the dogs and p.ss on the fire...

If you can't run with the big dawgs, stay on the porch.

Those two look like 2 monkeys trying to f..k a football.

You wouldn't make a pimple on a duck hunter's a..(insert any craft,discipline, etc.)

You're tryin hard, but you just didn't bring enough with you.

The lite's on but nobody's home.

You ain't playing with a full deck.

His elevator don't go to the top floor.

You musta rode the little school bus.

He couldn't pour p.ss out of a boot with the directions written on the bottom.

You'd screw up a ball bearing with a Q-tip.

They're trying to figure out which one's IQ is greater than their hat size.

If you push on her hard enough she will fall over.

Murphy's Law- If it can go wrong it will!

Shakin like a dog s.....g a peach seed.

Worked like a borrowed mule.

Nervous as a whore in church.

Happy as a goat eating sawbriars.

If it's good for the goose it's good for the gander.

Tight, water tight like a duck's a..

Don't smile at me like that...I already got a date for tonight.

I think I'll quit and leave ya'll in a bind. Well, you could stay and keep us in a bind!

Don't hang your a.. on the door knob!

What part of "NO" don't you understand?

Do your job with vim and vigor you can be replaced with a ... (Oops, might need to change the rhyme to fit "Mexican")

Hotter than a goat in a pepper patch taking 3 rows at a time!!

man that is biggernshict

I'd rather be at a nut stompin at New Albany sale barn (don't know why New Albany, just what my mother in law says)

Cool as the underside of a pillow

F'd up'd as a bunny in a bushhog

is a frog's booty water tight,
does a fat lady fart....
if my aunt had balls shed be my unlce,..
cum, blister, or bleed biatch..
f...em and feed em fish heads and if they aint hungry just f....em.
smilin like a cat coverin shart..
hornery than a 4 balled tomcat or billygoat...
hung like a small party pony.....
Im black from the waist down....
hey baby you ever seen me lick my eyebrows?

and....hey whats that ugly sob doing with all them fine ladies
that man, there is a bankwalker.....you know, the last one to jump in when everyone is going skinny dipping, hes the one leaving three tracks in the sand..

youll need nine cheeseburgers and a mule to ........

I think I just hooked the bottem...
this fish has got some shoulders on him....

that girl looks like shes been doing a lot of push ups...
do you think those things hurt her back...

hey if you stand them on their heads they all look like sisters...
I dont cull nothing!!!!

that thing will stretch a mile before it tears an inch...

man look at them camel toes...

looks like two little kids fighting under a blanket (as she walks by)

Man I can go on and on with this stuff, all my friends say I should write a book, maybe one day i will....I love one liners for sure!!!!

that sum beach was hard as chinese arthimetic....

I could schit through a screendoor and not touch a wire.

Easier than pouring piss out of a boot.

After eatin/drinking too much,
This must be what Hell is like. It was fun gettin there but your miserable once your there.

40 11. As in "I bet we shelled fourty 'leven peas last night. Aparently 40 x 11 = oldtimer infinity.

Raining Hard = "Frog Floater"

Its like a sore dick, you just cant beat it.

You think you're hot sh*t in a martini glass but you're nothing but a cold turd in a paper cup.

(for someone with Freckles) Looks like someone sh*t through a screen door and you were standing on the other side.

Busier than than a set of jumper cables at a negro funeral

that is pretty buy-good one

"You are so bright when you were born your dad called you son"
"Useless as a sow saddle on a boar hog"
"It come a chunk floater"
"Pissin in the wind"
"Well take ye shirt off"
"Hotter than a 2 dollar pistol"
"Rough as a cobb"

poor as a indian dog