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Duck Nawteek wrote: Then all of the sudden I hear BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hit the ground and almost *!@#@* in my pants. Her crazyass dad pulls out his 44 and fires it off right off the front porch. He camly said "yep it still works" oh and yall have a good time and don't be late.:

Dayum! I would have shat right then and there. That's the best I've heard!

Seymore wrote:
I then took our two year old and told them here. If you are going to sit with the door closed, you can watch your sister. To which she protested they were in the middle of a card game. I told her that was fine things came up in life that got in the way of card games and alot of other stuff. Like two year olds. They needed to remember that when they were sitting in the back of the house.

My daughter left totally humiliated and embarrased. My wife hasn't quit laughing.

that was good thinking there... pretty quick thinking on ya feet..

Picked a girl up in high school for our first date; rumor was that her dad liked his whiskey and had a real violent streak in him. About the time we started heading out the door, we heard all this commotion coming down the stairs. I turned to see her dad standing there in a pair of army fatigue pants, an orange vest (no shirt under), coon skin cap, bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand, shotgun in the other, and a sign around his neck that read F*%K THE DOG, BEWARE OF OWNER!! Turns out he was a real reasonable man that liked to joke around a lot, too bad his daughter turned out to be nuttier than squirrel toes.

The first date my daughter had I was sitting in the den cleaning a browning over and under. I had a talk with the little chap about being home on time and being a gentleman. I told him "she is my only daughter and if something should happen I have no problem going back to prison". His mother called me the next morning laughing her booty off. He woke her up when he got in and said mom when did Mr. Torch go to prison and told her the whole story. Made an impression on that youngster.

seymore, I really enjoyed the story. Please keep us posted as many of us will have to endure this in due time.

I have often heard of dads taking the doors off the room if they continue to lock themselves up in the room. Hopefully it won't come to this. Good luck.

JaMak84 wrote:Picked a girl up in high school for our first date; rumor was that her dad liked his whiskey and had a real violent streak in him. About the time we started heading out the door, we heard all this commotion coming down the stairs. I turned to see her dad standing there in a pair of army fatigue pants, an orange vest (no shirt under), coon skin cap, bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand, shotgun in the other, and a sign around his neck that read F*%K THE DOG, BEWARE OF OWNER!! Turns out he was a real reasonable man that liked to joke around a lot, too bad his daughter turned out to be nuttier than squirrel toes.

Ha! bolivar county has some bat $#!+ crazy womens no doubt

B.M.F wrote:
Ha! bolivar county has some bat *!@#@* crazy womens no doubt

I THOUGHT ALL WOMEN WERE THAT WAY...

I THOUGHT ALL WOMEN WERE THAT WAY...

dey's got snakes in dem heads!

just have a list of chores/work his booty off everytime he comes over. take advantage of the free labor !! also mention to him how whooped he is constantly.. he'll eventually realize he hates your house and you'll not see him as much.. then to top it off.. don't ollow your daughter to go "hang out" at his house.. tell her you have nothing against them hanging out together but you'd rather them hang out at your house.. works great.. it'll create controversy between them and he'll be gone !!

No good, uncool, your ruining my life me just took the door off the hinges. We'll see how Romeo feels about them apples when they come waltzing in after school.

Before I was old enough to date, my cousin would stay with us on nights she had a date. The first time some boy came to pick her up, he pulled into the driveway and honked the horn. When my cousin and her friend got up to go out, my Dad told them to keep their seat - in a rather impressive manner. (I had heard this tone several times before, usually with unpleasant results. ) My Dad then proceeded to go to the front door, open it, and proclaim loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear, that if those two boys were man enough to ask out his niece, then they were certainly man enough to come to the door and meet her uncle and have a pleasant gentlemanly conversation. (The exact contents of this conversation, I was not privy to. However, I DO have my suspicions.)

I guess that stuck, because now I embarrass my wife whenever I go to pick her up anywhere. While other husbands just drive up and honk the horn, I walk up to the door and ring the bell. Oh well, that's what she gets for marrying an older man.

When I was dating my wife her ten year old brother was a pain in the booty. HIding in the car, popping up behind the coach, running through the house with his underwear on and a towel as a cape.

We went to college and came home for a weekend. We were engaged at the time and making plans for our wedding in a few months. Her parents were pretty cool with me at this point as we had been dating for over 5 years ever since high school. Her brother was now in his early teens and going out on his first date. He didn't have his liscense yet and my future in laws asked us to handle it. Bad mistake.

The evening starts with my wife and I walking him to the door. Going in and meeting the parents. The parents thought it was a scream. I had a yard stick with me and told them there would be that much space between them all night. My wife then sat between them in the back seat as I played classical music on the stereo. Not that we really cared for it, but, it pissed him off. We then sat between them at the movies and made them shake hands at the door. He's 30 now and still hasn't forgiven us for that.

I DATED THIS GIRL A FEW TIME THAT SHE ALWAYS MET ME AT MY TRUCK. I TOLD HER I WANTED JUST ONCE TO GO TO THE HOUSE AND GET HER. IT TOTALLY SHOCKED HER PARENTS THAT I ACTUALLY WANTED TO MEET THEM. IT KINDA GOT THE "BALL" IN MY COURT.. I GOT TO DO A LOT WITH HER THAT HE DIDNT LET HER DO WITH OTHER GUYS...

Umm, fellas? The wife and I don't have any children yet, and ahh, weeelllll. Y'all are scarin' me! And with the way this world's a agoin' nowadays? I ain't afraid to admit it.

Now, where's that balistics chart?

YEAH I GOT TWO LITTLE GIRLS 6 AND 3.. I JUST GETTING IDEAS AND CONTACTS FOR WHEN I NEED THEM..