DuckSouth.com

gator wrote:i guess i'm different.

when i go out of town, i don't stay at any "old friends" that are females.......the fact you're asking tells me there's a bit of doubt, otherwise, you wouldn't ask.

i don't put myself in situations where my wife doubts my motives, and i expect the same, doesn't matter if it's 22 years or 1 year. respect is respect.

super8 rooms cost about 50 bucks a night. i'm pretty sure you can find the change.

my 2 cents, mileage varies, gator

I gotta agree with Gator. I feel as that I respect my wife enough not to ask her to trust me in a less than perfect situation. I also expect that she shows me the same respect. In the banking business/industry you find ways to keep honest folks honest, ways not to allow the temptation and share fault in creating a theif so to speak. In the end, you gotta decide whats best for your relationship and marriage. I hope everything works out for the best with yall and the brother.

marshman wrote:

ragon wrote:where was the brother living, why couldnt she stay there?
probably would be fine, but that would be my first question to her!

her brother was living in another state when he was arrested for charges against him while he was living in the state where he is going to trial in...

im like gator, i would never put my wife in an a position like that and wouldn't exspect her to put me in it, been married 16 yrs with a handicap child age 15, lots of stress, but we never try to put more stress on our relationship than already is! hope it all turns out ok, will pray for you and your situation
ragon

I've been happily married for 7 years, but there's no way I'd send her into a stressful situation while sleeping under another man's roof; especially if they had a history. I don't care if he is the Pope.

I trust her, but I'd never trust him.

Guess i'm alot different than most, i'd tell her to have a safe trip and call me when she can.

gator wrote:i guess i'm different.

when i go out of town, i don't stay at any "old friends" that are females.......the fact you're asking tells me there's a bit of doubt, otherwise, you wouldn't ask.

i don't put myself in situations where my wife doubts my motives, and i expect the same, doesn't matter if it's 22 years or 1 year. respect is respect.

super8 rooms cost about 50 bucks a night. i'm pretty sure you can find the change.

my 2 cents, mileage varies, gator

Agree completely.
If you can't really afford to pay for a hotel room...then you certainly can't afford to pay a lawyer for a divorce. Why even introduce the doubt?

Absolutely no way! Put the charges on the credit card if you don't have the money. Heck, I probably would shut down the whole thing at "I want to travel 12 hrs to support my brother during trial" especially if there was a doubt in my mind that he did it. If I couldn't go with her, she wouldn't go. That is just the dynamics of our relationship. If she was staying with an ole friend that was a girl, I might think differently about it. I would never let her stay with a man that she already had any type of history with.

But then again, folks can view me as a "cold" person at times.. Got know idea why?!?

The problem is even if she does stay at a motel, they could still hook-up if the "want to" was there, but putting them in the same house is a recipe for disaster. Nurses work late shifts, kids go to school, and the "old friend" could take off of work. If you do go for the whole deal, just have a post-nuptial signed before she goes.

Look. I trust my wife more than any other person in the world. People are human beings prone to mistakes. I trust my wife to try not to mess up, but that doesn't mean she couldn't still make a mistake.

Your relationship is only as good as your trust is for her. I wouldn't have a problem with it. I trust my wife. Not saying I would trust the other guy, however I would trust my wife to do the right thing..

ducknbuck1 wrote:Your relationship is only as good as your trust is for her. I wouldn't have a problem with it. I trust my wife. Not saying I would trust the other guy, however I would trust my wife to do the right thing..

+1000

MrGoodtime wrote:

ducknbuck1 wrote:Your relationship is only as good as your trust is for her. I wouldn't have a problem with it. I trust my wife. Not saying I would trust the other guy, however I would trust my wife to do the right thing..

+1000

Well i do trust her totally, so I will trust her to do the right thing too. The trial is not till MArch so theres some time and things may change untill then. Thanks to everyone who chimed in.

ain't no way i would even suggest it to my wife for the simple reason if there was a history i would have doubts and no way to confirm nor disprove them. marriages are fragile things that take lots of work to build and only take the hint of indescretion to destroy. i trust my wife a lot and mine does me to an extent, but we both work to make sure everything is kept honest, and do our best to avoid situations that might create doubts.

i personally feel very blest that the Lord gave me the wife he did especially after all my pre marital indescretions, and i have had to pass and cancel some trips (both business and pleasure) because she was concerned for one reason or another. it took a few years for me to realize that a husband is responsible for the good of the marriage, to grow up and do it, and i am by no means a marital expert as i consider myself still a newly wed even with two kids and coming up on my 6 yr anniversery. it is one of those choices that each man has to make on his own and is niether right nor wrong in itself, but deep down you know what will be right for the both of you, and it sometimes takes a big man to do whats right for the marriage and not whats best for one or the other.

just my $.02

The fact that you have to ask tells me that you already know the answer. Your 22 years of marriage are worth a lot more than the price of a hotel room for a week.

Does your wife drink? If so, a little alcohol added to this scenario could be a recipe for disaster.

Long Duck Dong wrote:Does your wife drink? If so, a little alcohol added to this scenario could be a recipe for disaster.

No

Very well said Bonecollector1111.

marshman wrote:Yes his wife and kids will be there. His wife works, I thinks she's a nurse at the hosiptal and kids are school age kids...

Thats cool. Alone would not have been.