Am I wrong?

[TODO]

Sounds like she needs an attitude adjustment. And by the way, i know several 30+ year olds that dont work and live off their parents. Better nip that $#!+ in the bud now.

[grnheadhuntr]

Been working since I had a drivers liscense. That was the only way I could get it. Mowed grass in the neighborhood until then. Took 15-18 hrs each semester of college and still held down a 40 hr/wk job. I learned more from working than I ever did in college.

Only taking 2 classes... Make her pay RENT.

[Deagle]

Maybe you should just whack her in the head two good times, with a lawnmower blade.

[hntrpat1]

Since she is your stepdaughter your wife needs to be the one telling her to get a job. This is making you out as the Ahole stepdad. She needs to get a dang job. When I was in high school I always had a job in college I went full time and had two jobs.

[larry earl]

I have a stepdaughter that is a freshmen in college and when she was in high school we told her she had to get an afternoon job. I pay for her school and bought her car but her money is for general spending,cell phone, clothes etc.. She likes having her own money that she earned. We told her she had to and thats it.

[Carl Childers]

Maybe you should just whack her in the head two good times, with a lawnmower blade.

thanks, BTW thats a cottonmouth in your photo gallery not a copperhead

[H20fowlkiller]

if she keeps getting money and still wont get a job, demand more money for food utillities and other assorted bills but make sure she knows she wont accept any illegal money or boyfriends money (not accusing just putting it out there). Does she have good grades?

[Carl Childers]

if she keeps getting money and still wont get a job, demand more money for food utillities and other assorted bills but make sure she knows she wont accept any illegal money or boyfriends money (not accusing just putting it out there). Does she have good grades?

She made very good grades in high school, got a partial scholarship, but her father past away last summer and since then things have gone down hill, she has dropped classes and down to going two days a week.

[cwink]

if she keeps getting money and still wont get a job, demand more money for food utillities and other assorted bills but make sure she knows she wont accept any illegal money or boyfriends money (not accusing just putting it out there). Does she have good grades?

She made very good grades in high school, got a partial scholarship, but her father past away last summer and since then things have gone down hill, she has dropped classes and down to going two days a week.

Then you might want to approach it in a much more sympathetic manner. She could still be dealing with the loss.. A job may help her keep her mind off of things, if the loss of her dad is still an issue for her.

[jacksbuddy]

Now the grandparents thats another story.

There too, is part of your problem. It sounds like the law needs to be laid down on more than one front. (Yes, I started working for my dad when I was 8, and being a 'grunt' on a survey crew is hard work at any age.)

Once you get her "doing something", then things will improve drastically. She'll do better with her own money in her pocket (And she'll feel better about herself. Maybe she just needs to 'snap out of it'.), Grandparents will realize that she isn't a defenseless little girl any more, Momma will realize that she is growing up, and y'all won't worry about her as much. (And face it, as stepdad, you are already hamstrung on this because you can only do so much about the situation. You obviously care about this child, plus if Momma is worrying, then you are worrying.)

Good luck and keep us posted.

[H20fowlkiller]

if she keeps getting money and still wont get a job, demand more money for food utillities and other assorted bills but make sure she knows she wont accept any illegal money or boyfriends money (not accusing just putting it out there). Does she have good grades?

She made very good grades in high school, got a partial scholarship, but her father past away last summer and since then things have gone down hill, she has dropped classes and down to going two days a week.

Well with that being stated its a little different, you may want to take here aside and just have a sit down with her and let her know that your there for her if she needs anything but she cant just give up life must go on, and im sure her father wouldnt want her sitting around doing nothing with her life, maybe just tell her she needs to find something by the summer and she has to hold onto it. This is coming from exp. I lost 3 grandparents from my 7th grade to my senior year plus i was the one who had to get to my grandads house before school to get him out of the bed and put him back in the bed after school before work, not including a mom who was on the verge of a nervous breakdown from all the stress of loosing both parents within 18 months.

[Carl Childers]

Thanks guys, She wouldnt talk to us after her dad died and she went to therapy and things got worse, She moved out before thanksgiving because she said we were to strict, (wouldnt let her stay out all night and stay at her boyfriends, sorry I just wasnt raised that way) well they both got in trouble, boyfriend split and I went in picked her up, paid for all her bad checks made a trip to the S.O. to get her tail out of legal trouble and never even got a thankyou. Now its been three months since she has been back home and I guess its just getting to me.

[grnheadhuntr]

If she moved out because you were too strict and you had to go bail her out of jail and there were no thank you's... an booty whoopin is called for.

My dad always told me that I would never get too big or too old for him to whip my booty. Even though I'm 6'4" and he's 5'10" and I out weight him by 50lbs, I still believe that he would do it.

[crow]

#1 No you are not wrong.

#2 You are not the one to tell her to get a job. That should be done by her Mother. Obvioulsy, y'all agree on it, but you will never win no matter is she gets a job or doesn't. I know you are the man of the house and if you bought her car, you can take it back if she doesn't work. If Mom bought it, she can take it back if she doesn't work. But, step-dad, you will always be the bad guy if Mom doesn't step up. Obviously, you have a great deal of control as she lives in your house, but be careful that it doesn't become a power play. You can very easily become the patsy in this game she's learning. Your response should be limited to "I support your Mom 100%. I think you should work, too."

There would be no money going to her from my household if she didn't work, I can tell you that. Too much rides on them being able to learn responsibility by providing their own money. No worky, no drivey! Just be careful how it comes down.

crow

[novacaine]

Started out as a "waterboy" on a cotton chopping crew at 12 years old. Half of ya'll probably don't even remember choppin crews. Been working every since. You owe it to them to "make" them work for extra money to support their percs and habits. Instilling that work ethic early will make them apreciate what it takes to "do things" and "have stuff". Stuff cost- it's never to early to find that out. "Luv you honey, but you got to get a job if you want to stay here". I think that's what they call tough love.