DuckSouth.com

F'ed up as a soup sandwich
" " as 900 rats on Decon.

Strange as a three legged cat
Crazy as a hit dog
crazy as a sprayed roach
Packed in there like mexicans (good to say when your hole is full of ducks)
Beat (or worked) like a rented mule
You are the one screwin this pig, I'm just holding a leg.

The all time best are
Go ugly early
Eager beats pretty
I'm havin a good weiner day so don't f**k with me

I'm as f'd up as a cheeseburger tacklebox.

You could screw up a wet dream.

(Col. Sanders) Im too drunk to taste this chicken
or my personal favorite....hold my beer, watch this!

it's hotter than 2 rats on a slow boat to china

-gator

I've been two two county fairs and a hog killing and I ain't never seen anything like this!

He looks like a dog eating $#!+ through a wirebrush!

Joke 'em if they can't take a fu[k!

When my ship comes in, I'll probabaly be at the airport!

She's got an booty 2 ax handles wide.

couldn't hit the broad side of a barn w/ a witches tit in a wool bra

gator

Screwed up as a box of brim hooks

a favorite:

"hey, what are you doing?"

gator

he's got enough money to burn a wet mule

there's not enough room in here to cuss a cat

more nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs

that sounds about as fun as trying to sandpaper a bobcat's booty in a phone both

(all quotes that I heard from our office clerk, apparently she had a thing about cats)

higher than camel peepee

Thats about as cool as basketball cleats.

You'll be shattin' like a crippled coon after that.

How's your box doing?

Went out drinking.....and "got toe' up from flo' up" ...so I'm probably gonna "need a check-up from the neck up".

Crooked as a barrel of snakes

Busier that a one legged man at a butt kicking contest

You're like a rat turd, sharp on both ends.