Advice needed on a matter

[jdaves]

How would you handle this? Normally I wouldn’t care but this is concerning a new job that I was 99% certain I had, so needless to say, it’s important.

I met with this person hiring, along with his 2 bosses, several times and everything went great. Then all of a sudden things went cold from their end and I couldn't figure out why. So I asked a friend of mine, who actually got my foot in the door with the person hiring, to see if he could figure out what was going on.
Note: My friend doesn’t work for this company, but he’s in the industry and very good friends with the guy that was doing the hiring.

The short of the long is that my friend found out something, which as it turns out, was an honest to goodness misunderstanding between me and the guy hiring. Which normally could easily be cleared up but I can’t let the person hiring know because the conversation between he and my friend was very confidential and I’m not going to sell my friend out and damage his relationship with this person. And obviously my friend can’t go back and tell him it was a misunderstanding.

Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place. How should I handle this?

[deltadukman]

Other than moving on, you can try to contact the guy in charge of hiring and politely and professionally ask if there was anything done that may have caused your selection to be overlooked, or was there something he could say that you can use in the future that you can better yourself by and hope he brings the issue up and then try and resolve the matter there. I guess what I am trying to say is try to get a response out of him on the results of the interview without bringing up the "situation" in hopes of him bringing up the "situation".

[duckchur1]

That would be what I would do if I were you.

[woody]

have you contacted the guy with which the misunderstanding occurred? Try contacting him again by email, asking if you had done anything wrong, that you thought everything went well, and you just wanted to follow-up with him because you were very excited about this opportunity. If he responds your reply to that will depend on what he says. If no reply, wait a few days and contact him again. This time write the email in a tone assuming that you must have done something wrong, that you are not sure what you did, that you were certain after the interview process you were going to get the job because it went so well in your opinion, but for some reason unbeknownst to you, you didn't get the job. Then give a short'n sweet apology for apparently doing something or not doing something that caused you from receiving the job.

[jdaves]

Other than moving on, you can try to contact the guy in charge of hiring and politely and professionally ask if there was anything done that may have caused your selection to be overlooked, or was there something he could say that you can use in the future that you can better yourself by and hope he brings the issue up and then try and resolve the matter there. I guess what I am trying to say is try to get a response out of him on the results of the interview without bringing up the "situation" in hopes of him bringing up the "situation".

That's a good idea. Before my friend found this info out I asked the guy several times if I was beating a dead horse but couldn't get a straight answer out of him. Normally I would take that as a sign and move on but then the guy would say to call him in a few weeks. The more I think about it, it sort of ticks me off that the guy wasn't straight up with me and view it as his loss and find something with a competitor in the same field. I just hate someone thinking something about me that was a misunderstanding.

[jdaves]

have you contacted the guy with which the misunderstanding occurred? Try contacting him again by email, asking if you had done anything wrong, that you thought everything went well, and you just wanted to follow-up with him because you were very excited about this opportunity. If he responds your reply to that will depend on what he says. If no reply, wait a few days and contact him again. This time write the email in a tone assuming that you must have done something wrong, that you are not sure what you did, that you were certain after the interview process you were going to get the job because it went so well in your opinion, but for some reason unbeknownst to you, you didn't get the job. Then give a short'n sweet apology for apparently doing something or not doing something that caused you from receiving the job.

I think that'll work perfect. Thanks

[gps4]

Is your friend willing to vouch for you and clear up the misunderstanding with the guy?

[Smoke68]

can your friend go to the guy hiring and say that he knows it was a misunderstanding from personal knowledge? Not because you told him?

[jdaves]

can your friend go to the guy hiring and say that he knows it was a misunderstanding from personal knowledge? Not because you told him?

He sort of already did by saying "that doesn't sound like him". But at the time, he hadn't talked to me yet and obviously he didn't want to say anything further, especially since he wasn't there. And now he can't go back and clear it up because the guy will know that he told me.

[Todd Macko]

The guy won't play straight with you and directly confront what he saw as a problem. Do you really still want to work for him and a company in which he apparently has thrived using those type of tactics to deal with potential employees, associates, and possibly customers?

I think you're already ahead of the game at this point and hope something better comes along. You deserve it!

[RedEyed Duck]

The guy won't play straight with you and directly confront what he saw as a problem. Do you really still want to work for him and a company in which he apparently has thrived using those type of tactics to deal with potential employees, associates, and possibly customers!

I'd move on

[7ducks]

The guy won't play straight with you and directly confront what he saw as a problem. Do you really still want to work for him and a company in which he apparently has thrived using those type of tactics to deal with potential employees, associates, and possibly customers!

I'd move on

+1 You may be creating other problems with other possible employers if you push this too far....JMO

[jdaves]

Thanks for all the advice. I have decided to let sleeping dogs lie and move on. The more I think about it, there's no doubt that this "misunderstanding" happened for a reason and the good lord has other plans for me and my family.

[jacksbuddy]

Thanks for all the advice. I have decided to let sleeping dogs lie and move on. The more I think about it, there's no doubt that this "misunderstanding" happened for a reason and the good lord has other plans for me and my family.

Good.

[the doctor]

All good advice above and probably not a bad choice to move on, but if its truly a job you want I would be hesitant to let anything stand in my way. Job market is tough, Id have to push a bit harder and unless it jeopardized my friendship or my friends well being screw all that "in confidence" crap. If they didn't want you to know or people to find out they should have kept their mouths shut.

The doc