My name is Benny and I am one bi-polar crazy son of a BUCK....
I have talked to Micah, and it seems he is going to allow me to hang around here some and see if my top blows off. I have known Mich since the beginning of this forum in talk and we all been a long ways together and sometimes not together. I appreciate him deciding maybe it's time.
Yall know I aint the kind to back off nuttin much and I aint gonna back off now because I dont need to. About 3 months ago I got diagnosed again as Bi-polar manic depressive with a hard slant to manic. That means Im pretty much catatonic around the clock and sub nuclear when stuff pizzes me off, which is at the drop of a hat. I'm sure you might remember one or two of my posts when experiencing one of these rages.
They come on strong and can last for weeks. They feel good too, you feel like you can tear down a tree. But they do a lot of damage too, mostly to your relationships and then to your life in leu of that.
I have screwed up oppourtunities to be in conservation that I truly wish I hadnt done. I screwed up a lot more, but those chances and where they would have gone were where I needed to go. I shut my own doors.
And I done pizzed off just about everybody on the internet as well.
I aint changed much in what I think, the difference is that perhaps I can contain when and when not to say it. I had no control before and as it appeared in my mind, it came out on the keyboard.
I am taking lithium for this, which is a mineral. They dont know why it works for this, but it does, and it works well by my experience.
It has calmed me down tremendously and things have begun to change because of this. I did not realize what I was doing until I could calm down. I couldnt see it. But once calmed I cant belive some of the crap I did, in fact I cant believe most of my life to be honest with ya.
Bi-polar disorder will destroy your life because even the people that love you just about cant stand to be around you...
But anyway, I think I got a handle on this stuff, and there aint no better place to see if I can handle my temper, than around a bunch of spinner huggin amateurs like YOU boys...
I am sure that now every time I say something yall dont exactly like, you will remind me to take my meds,
and I want to go ahead and thank you ahead of time for lookin after me.
So there ya have it,
another example of Benny will put his balls on the table and grin at ya.....
Cant wait to hear the Bi-Polar jokes!
Just joshing ya 
