Father in Law Question

[H20fowlkiller]

For those of you with kids, how would you deal with a father in law who constatly tries to undermine when your trying to discipline you child, and he some how he tries to turn it to your fault?

[GordonGekko]

move....

[DeltaCotton12]

let him know that its your child and you will discipline he/she as you wish. tell him he already had his turn at raising a child, your wife, but now its my turn to raise my child and i have standards for which i would like to raise my child. be firm, no beating around the bush. if you try and discipline and he's constantly back stabbing you to your child, there is a problem..

[regishay]

let him know that its your child and you will discipline he/she as you wish. tell him he already had his turn at raising a child, your wife, but now its my turn to raise my child and i have standards for which i would like to raise my child. be firm, no beating around the bush. if you try and discipline and he's constantly back stabbing you to your child, there is a problem..

what he said, and try not to discipline your child in front of him if you can, all that is going to happen is the child will go to him and you end up being the bad guy.

[GrizwalD]

whip his booty sea bass

[jacksbuddy]

let him know that its your child and you will discipline he/she as you wish. tell him he already had his turn at raising a child, your wife, but now its my turn to raise my child and i have standards for which i would like to raise my child. be firm, no beating around the bush. if you try and discipline and he's constantly back stabbing you to your child, there is a problem..

+1

It is good that Granddaddy is in the child's life. However, this is your child, and not his. He needs to politely butt out.

[H20fowlkiller]

let him know that its your child and you will discipline he/she as you wish. tell him he already had his turn at raising a child, your wife, but now its my turn to raise my child and i have standards for which i would like to raise my child. be firm, no beating around the bush. if you try and discipline and he's constantly back stabbing you to your child, there is a problem..

what he said, and try not to discipline your child in front of him if you can, all that is going to happen is the child will go to him and you end up being the bad guy.

Ive tried that and only tried to get the big stuff when he's around.
Two ex: were over at the inlaws last night for dinner and my son loves to dance so my sis in law gets her computer out and puts on some music for him to dance well a song goes off and i walk over to put a new one on and he keeps trying to hit the keypad and screen, well i gave him 3 warnings that if he hits it again I will take it away and there wont be any music. Well he keeps trying to hit it, so I grab the computer and put it in her bedroom. Well my son procedes to chase me in there and throw a fit, i picked him up and he started to calm down. So my father in law comes over and tries to take my son from me and tell him we they will get the computer and play on it. So of course my son goes to him and they walk away and my father in law procedes to talk loud enough i can hear him that its our fault for him being around the computer and since we put it around him that he should be able to play with it.

Ex. 2: My son loves to throw, pitch, play with balls. Well my mother in law wanted to read him a book so they went into his room and got a book. He saw a softball and had to have it, well me my wife and everyone else said no because usually at some point if he holds it he will throw it, but my father in law insisted he have it so he wouldnt fuss (which he really wasnt doing anyway). Well halfway through the story he throws the softball and knock some stuff over and could have broke something, so my father in law proceeds to get onto us for not stopping him from throwing and we shouldnt be teaching him to throw inside!?!@? i just left after that

I have avoided saying something because I dont want to piss anyone off and its my wifes father and I dont want to create tension, or start anything between my and my wife, I have even tried not participating in family events I know he will be at, But my wife got upset because she thought it was because I didnt want to be around her family, but i was just trying to avoid confrontation.
Dear God please help

[stitch]

let him know that its your child and you will discipline he/she as you wish. tell him he already had his turn at raising a child, your wife, but now its my turn to raise my child and i have standards for which i would like to raise my child. be firm, no beating around the bush. if you try and discipline and he's constantly back stabbing you to your child, there is a problem..

what he said....be polite, yet firm. Also, make it clear that if he wants to continue to spend time with their grand child, they will live by your rules. Just went through this with the sister in law.

[H20fowlkiller]

It is good that Granddaddy is in the child's life. However, this is your child, and not his. He needs to politely butt out.

Trust me I am glad for this, both granddads are in the childs life, and I realize theres the grandparent aspect of it where they want to spoil the child, but from the same aspect when my dad is around I dont have to discipline him when he is wrong, my dad does it, and if I do something my dad wouldnt dare undermind me.

[Freak]

Tell him like it is. I have a feeling my paw in law is going to try the same chit. he cusses like a sailor and I'm not going to have that kind of language being taught to my son at that age. I know it's going to cause problems down the road but I'll deal with it when the time comes. good luck but you better pull him to the side now and set things strait. he'll understand and take it like a man hopefully. That's your child and your priority to discipline him the way you want to.

let him know that its your child and you will discipline he/she as you wish. tell him he already had his turn at raising a child, your wife, but now its my turn to raise my child and i have standards for which i would like to raise my child. be firm, no beating around the bush. if you try and discipline and he's constantly back stabbing you to your child, there is a problem..

what he said, and try not to discipline your child in front of him if you can, all that is going to happen is the child will go to him and you end up being the bad guy.

Ive tried that and only tried to get the big stuff when he's around.
Two ex: were over at the inlaws last night for dinner and my son loves to dance so my sis in law gets her computer out and puts on some music for him to dance well a song goes off and i walk over to put a new one on and he keeps trying to hit the keypad and screen, well i gave him 3 warnings that if he hits it again I will take it away and there wont be any music. Well he keeps trying to hit it, so I grab the computer and put it in her bedroom. Well my son procedes to chase me in there and throw a fit, i picked him up and he started to calm down. So my father in law comes over and tries to take my son from me and tell him we they will get the computer and play on it. So of course my son goes to him and they walk away and my father in law procedes to talk loud enough i can hear him that its our fault for him being around the computer and since we put it around him that he should be able to play with it.

Ex. 2: My son loves to throw, pitch, play with balls. Well my mother in law wanted to read him a book so they went into his room and got a book. He saw a softball and had to have it, well me my wife and everyone else said no because usually at some point if he holds it he will throw it, but my father in law insisted he have it so he wouldnt fuss (which he really wasnt doing anyway). Well halfway through the story he throws the softball and knock some stuff over and could have broke something, so my father in law proceeds to get onto us for not stopping him from throwing and we shouldnt be teaching him to throw inside!?!@? i just left after that

I have avoided saying something because I dont want to piss anyone off and its my wifes father and I dont want to create tension, or start anything between my and my wife, I have even tried not participating in family events I know he will be at, But my wife got upset because she thought it was because I didnt want to be around her family, but i was just trying to avoid confrontation.
Dear God please help

[lowbar]

Man tell Ronnie to mind his own business Hell I thought he was an imaginary figure. I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen him. Good luck buddy!!

[MemphisStockBroker]

... and i walk over to put a new one on and he keeps trying to hit the keypad and screen, well i gave him 3 warnings that if he hits it again I will take it away and there wont be any music. Well he keeps trying to hit it, so I grab the computer and put it in her bedroom. ....

Uh, dude.... if you really want my opinion, this is your fault. The boy get's ONE warning, then he gets a pop on the butt. Never ever ever allow him to throw a fit. He throws a fit, and he gets a negative response from your, i.e. pop that butt. There is NO WAY I would allow a child to hit a computer. Right now, your son is in control.

A child will see how far they can push you, and they will keep pushing until you stop them. Sounds like you give your son way too much latitude to try to get his way.

Be a DAD. Its your way or the highway. Both your son and father-in-law will respect you for it later.

[H20fowlkiller]

Man tell Ronnie to mind his own business Hell I thought he was an imaginary figure. I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen him. Good luck buddy!!

Lucky Man

[H20fowlkiller]

... and i walk over to put a new one on and he keeps trying to hit the keypad and screen, well i gave him 3 warnings that if he hits it again I will take it away and there wont be any music. Well he keeps trying to hit it, so I grab the computer and put it in her bedroom. ....

Uh, dude.... if you really want my opinion, this is your fault. The boy get's ONE warning, then he gets a pop on the butt. Never ever ever allow him to throw a fit. He throws a fit, and he gets a negative response from your, i.e. pop that butt. There is NO WAY I would allow a child to hit a computer. Right now, your son is in control.

A child will see how far they can push you, and they will keep pushing until you stop them. Sounds like you give your son way too much latitude to try to get his way.

Be a DAD. Its your way or the highway. Both your son and father-in-law will respect you for it later.

I guess I can take some of the blame on that but i mean hes not even two yet so I just have to hit that fine line. Im not worried about the child I am as much as the in-law, because he rarely does that at our house or anywhere else just over there because he knows he can get away with it

[GrizwalD]

i have to agree with MSB.... 3 warning is 2 warnings to many. ALso your just gonna have to set the chit straight between you and your father in law but before you do so i would have a sit down talk and understanding with the wife so she is behind you instead of behind her dad.