Ooh poor me!

[Anatidae]

Emilio was walkin' down a beach along the Italian Riviera one day when he noticed a friend (Luciano) walking toward him with two good-looking, bikini-clad models [img]images/smiles/icon_cool.gif[/img].....one on each arm. They spoke a while, then went on about their leisurely stroll.

That night, Emilio went to Luciano's house and asked him what it was, about him that women liked. [img]images/smiles/icon_confused.gif[/img] Luciano compared their physical appearances and in an effort to help his friend, suggested that Emilio make a few changes. Luciano told Emilio women liked his (Luciano's) muscular build, his jet-black slick hair carefully groomed, his dark tan, and the 'Speedos' that left nothing to one's imagination. [img]images/smiles/icon_eek.gif[/img]

Luciano said he works-out with weights, lays out in the sun, has a 'stylist' groom his hair, and told Emilio where to find a nice 'bathing suit' like his. Further, he told his friend, if he wasn't 'naturally endowed' (physically), to put a potato in his 'Speedos'.

About a month later, Luciano was on the beach with his two female companions. Off in the distance he noticed the hundreds of other beach-gowers running in all directions, away from a lone individual walking toward them. It was his friend, Emilio. [img]images/smiles/icon_smile.gif[/img] When they got close enough to exchange greetings, the two women on Luciano's side fled in horror. [img]images/smiles/icon_eek.gif[/img]

Luciano could hardly believe it was the same man. He complimented Emilio on his 'make-over' saying, "my, look at my friend......you've been working-out, nice firm physique......you've been on the beach a lot, nice tan!.......your hair is much more 'manly', not all stringy and oily......and the 'Speedo' really fits you well". Emilio was so happy that he had won his friend's favor, until Luciano leaned over and said......."but next time, you might want to put that potato in the FRONT! [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] BWAAAAHAHAhahahaha!!!!! [img]images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]

[ November 01, 2001: Message edited by: Anatidae ]

[duckhuntalot]

How come other members are rated and I am not?
I am on this site alomst everyday. Why can't I come up with a neat topic of discussion or give an elaborate reply like Anat does. Why me?

Why me?

Wait, I think I may be on to something!


Not! [img]images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img]

[Dutch Dog]

LMAO....That's a good one!

[goosebruce]

Beach jokes.....

Ok, ok... got one.

Pretty girl walking down the beach. Sees a man with no arms and no legs on a towel, crying his eyes out. Whats wrong? she asked. Well, I'll be 21 years old this week and Ive never been hugged by a woman. So she figgered, why not, and reached over and hugged him. Thanks he offered.
Next day, same beach, same girl, same guy with no arms and no legs crying. What's wrong she asked? Well, Im gonna be 21 years old this week, and Ive never kissed a woman. So she figgered, why not. Bent over and laid one on him. Thanks he offered.
Next day, same beach, same chick, same guy with no arms and no legs, crying. Whats wrong, she asked, really kinda tired of this scene every morning. Well, he said, Im 21 years old today, and I've never been screwed by a woman. So she thought, why not. Bent over, picked him up, and tossed him in the ocean... Your screwed now she said...travis

[Welldoggie]

...near the beach joke:

Two guys sitting on the beach decide to take a boat ride. Storm comes up, takes the boat further out to sea, boat capsizes...later they wash up on what seems like a deserted island. A group of natives show up, capture them and take them to their village. That night, the village chief comes out and passes judgment and says to the first guy "you have two choices death or ChiChi". First guys thinks, I don't know what ChiChi is, but I'm still young and don't want to die. So, he says " I choose ChiChi". Chief say "so be it, he chooses ChiChi"...suddenly all of the men of the village run down from their huts, strip him naked and have their way with him. Meanwhile, his buddy sees all of this. The Chief says to him "You have two choices, death or ChiChi"...Buddy thinks, I'd rather die than go through that. So he says "I choose death"...Chief says "So be it, he chooses death.....but first, ChiChi"