Nursing Home Needed

[udkm]

My geriatric "significant other" has recently become combative and demonstrates aggressive behavior. I didn't have his veggies pureed perfectly so he threw them at me and began shouting profanity! He is insisting that a cooler filled with ice and beer be installed in the rear of his wheelchair! He has overdosed on Viagra twice just this week! I am undoubtedly going to have to put him in a nursing home.
I prefer the home to be staffed with large african-american nurses. He seems to like them best! They must also be willing to let him have pretty pink tennis balls on his walker instead of green. The pink calms him.
I welcome any recommendations on local nursing centers or suggestions on how to tame this unruly senior!

[messed up]

quoteSo you would be opposed to a lease-a-spouse program? The contract expires after a period of time and you can trade for a newer model? Sound's like it's time to trade in for a new one

[dukluk]

Since you're from Oxfart, just drop him off on the lawn at the Kappa Sig house....he'll fit right in with that bunch!!!

[udkm]

Yes, indeed,that's a great idea! He would love to talk to them about what it was like to belong to a fraternity in the mid 20th century!
Trade..a frat story for a butt wiping!

[jacksbuddy]

This sounds as though both of you need help.