Good Sayings

[crackhead]

He could reach in a barrel of dicks and pull out a nussy

[littlediesel]

"IF" If granma had balls she would be granpa!

"IF" If frogs had pockets they would tote guns and shoot snakes!

"IF" If frogs had wings they wouldnt bump their butt every time they hop!

hey come over here and sit on my face and let me guess what you weigh! dangit Bobby!

[duckhunterdoc]

needed like a Sherman tank needs a kick-stand ........ make like a banana and split....like a tree and leave ....... make like a cow turd and hit the dusty trail ...... make like a baby and head -out ...... make like a hockey player and "get the puck outta here" ...... you look like you were hit with an ugly stick

[tuscaloosahunter]

like a 3 legged cat trying to bury turds on an ice pond.

well dip my balls in sweet milk and squat me in a kitchen full of kittens.

couldn't catch gonorheaa in a whore house with a fistful of $50's

does Rose Kennedy own a black dress?

does a 3 legged duck swim in a circle?

2 of my favorites that I witnessed personally

Playing golf one time and somebody asked one of the guys "Reg, you ever screwed a negro?" Reg said, "I ain't if you ain't."

And the best I've ever heard--One night at the camphouse somebody asked another buddy the same question. "Scott, you ever screwed a negro?" Scott replied, "I thought I had, till I seen another one do it." BWAWWAAAAAHAAAAA

[rustypjr]

She done fell out of the ugly tree and hit every ugly branch ont he way down. When she hit the ground the ugly little kids picked up the ugly litlle sticks and beat her with it.

[catfishbill]

screwed up as a three winged bat in a hurricane

[Agua]

You's a muthaf*&@#ing lie and yo firss name is tell 'dat sonnab@#ch!.

[Tedl10]

crazier than a rat on crack
crazier than a skeeter on heroin

[dead bird]

Seen on a bumper sticker:
Gas, grass or booty... nobody rides for free.

[Damn_It_Boy]

Never been to bed with an ugly woman but I've woke up with quite a few.

I'm gonna stomp a mud hole in your booty........

I'm full as a tick.

[C-MAN]

" My stomach is tore up so bad I could schit over a ten rail fence"

" That looks like 2 possums fighting in a feed sack" -as she walks by

[missed mallards]

You got ABS? cause i'm fixin to beat the brakes off you!

[woodrow1]

you could "@#$%#" up an iron wedge -my day when i'd mess up
youre canidating....and youre gonna get elected -my dad when i was acting up
works about as well as windshield wippers on a billygoats asre -a general saying from my dad
shot in the face with a schit pistol -when some is very ugly the looked like this....
i aint got to do schit but stay white and die -i think this is from a movie but i cant remember which one
if and's and but's were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry christmas -my dad again

[rustypjr]

"Give you a steel ball and a rubber mallet and you could destroy the world." Foreman to one of our workers.

[digger]

Heard this one last night on a movie,as useless as a pecker on a pope