bigwater wrote:usm shows how much u know
SHOWS HOW MUCH I CARE
BUT I LUV U BIG WADDIE!Roll Tide!!!!!!!!!!
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Hole Hunter
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- Location: In a duck boat near you!
Bubba Joe and Cooter Bob, two outstanding Auburn Engineering Graduates,
were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A Bama freshman in
Engineering walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to
find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba Joe, "but we don't have a ladder."
The Bama Freshman took a wrench from his book bag, loosened a few bolts, and
laid the pole down; then he retrieved a tape measure from his pocket, took
a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Cooter Joe shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb Bama'er?
We asks for the height and he gives us the length!"
Bubba and Cooter are currently supervising the reconstruction of New Orleans.
A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India , etc
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... You know...they have frozen glasses... "
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.
"But my sweet honey... at the bar.... you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP CHICKEN $#!+! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT $#!+ IS OVER, GOT IT ?"
and...they lived happily ever after.
Isn't that a sweet story?
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India , etc
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... You know...they have frozen glasses... "
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.
"But my sweet honey... at the bar.... you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP CHICKEN $#!+! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT $#!+ IS OVER, GOT IT ?"
and...they lived happily ever after.
Isn't that a sweet story?
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Greenhead22
- Duck South Addict
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- Joined: Sun Apr 29, 2001 12:01 am
- Location: Mississippi/Louisiana/Arkansas
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webbmaster
- Duck South Addict
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- Joined: Wed May 15, 2002 12:01 am
- Location: Alabama
WHY?WEBBIE BC OF THIS THRED YOU HAVE SOME THING TO TALK ABOUT WITH OTHER FANS. I MADE THIS TO TALK UA BALL,JOKE AND PISS OFF BHH(BUTHOLE HUNTER) SO WHY WOULD YOU WANT IT DELEwebbmaster wrote:Greenhead22 wrote:If Bama loses to Ole Miss this weekend, I'm locking this topic for good.
If Bama wins, it lives to see another day.
I wish you would go ahead and delete it regardless.
TED.-
Greenhead22
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- Location: Mississippi/Louisiana/Arkansas
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Bully
- Veteran
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- Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2003 9:42 am
- Location: Originally: Clarksdale Now: Caledonia
scott j wrote:8) Bubba Joe and Cooter Bob, two outstanding Auburn Engineering Graduates,
were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A Bama freshman in
Engineering walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to
find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba Joe, "but we don't have a ladder."
The Bama Freshman took a wrench from his book bag, loosened a few bolts, and
laid the pole down; then he retrieved a tape measure from his pocket, took
a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Cooter Joe shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb Bama'er?
We asks for the height and he gives us the length!"
Bubba and Cooter are currently supervising the reconstruction of New Orleans.
An MSU Engineer would have measured the angle of the sun and length of the shadow and used simple geometry to get the length of the pole. By the way, geometry is the study of angles and stuff!
Justin
Even in victory, the asterisks are everywhere.
Ole Miss downed Louisiana Tech 24-0 last weekend to snap a four-game losing streak and win for the first time since the opener against Memphis.
But when you're one of two SEC teams yet to win a league game and you've allowed almost twice as many points as you have scored in league games, one good day doesn't erase all the problems.
So in the Rebels' first shutout since 2003, the offense had a season-low 232 yards and scored just two touchdowns against the 1-4 Bulldogs.
And defensively, coach Ed Orgeron came out of the game still fretting over Ole Miss' poor tackling.
In short, this is not the same program that Alabama coach Nick Saban saw the last time he took a team to Vaught-Hemingway Stadium - which was in 2003, his last year at LSU with the SEC West title at stake.
"The way we play defense, there is nothing comfortable around here," Orgeron said. "We have to continue to get better. We are going to play a lot better teams coming up - starting with Alabama - and we need to improve our play immensely to be able to play with these guys."
Not much at all is going well these days for Ole Miss - evidenced by ranking last in the SEC in scoring offense and next-to-last in scoring defense.
Some of it doesn't even make much sense.
Senior BenJarvus Green-Ellis is fifth in the SEC in rushing with 95 yards per game. But the Rebels are last in the league in rushing, averaging just 110 yards per game. If Green-Ellis doesn't get it, Ole Miss doesn't have a running game.
And senior quarterback Seth Adams is fourth in the SEC in passing - ahead of Alabama's John Parker Wilson, Georgia's Matthew Stafford, Auburn's Brandon Cox and LSU's Matt Flynn.
But it hasn't cleared a path to the end zone.
"As a whole, I think we did some good things," Adams said following the Louisiana Tech game. "I just think we stopped ourselves and made some mistakes."
Indeed, Adams threw three interceptions against the Bulldogs after throwing just four over the first five games.
If nothing else, though, Ole Miss will be brimming with confidence on defense.
"We worked hard again this week on tackling," Orgeron said. "We think we made some improvement last week on our fits, our linebackers being in the right spot against the run."
The 301 yards Louisiana Tech had were the fewest Ole Miss has allowed this season.
"We just emphasized tackling and winning," said linebacker Ashlee Palmer of the Louisiana Tech game. "We wanted a shutout and we got a shutout. We worked a lot on tackling because that has been our downfall so far this year."
Ole Miss downed Louisiana Tech 24-0 last weekend to snap a four-game losing streak and win for the first time since the opener against Memphis.
But when you're one of two SEC teams yet to win a league game and you've allowed almost twice as many points as you have scored in league games, one good day doesn't erase all the problems.
So in the Rebels' first shutout since 2003, the offense had a season-low 232 yards and scored just two touchdowns against the 1-4 Bulldogs.
And defensively, coach Ed Orgeron came out of the game still fretting over Ole Miss' poor tackling.
In short, this is not the same program that Alabama coach Nick Saban saw the last time he took a team to Vaught-Hemingway Stadium - which was in 2003, his last year at LSU with the SEC West title at stake.
"The way we play defense, there is nothing comfortable around here," Orgeron said. "We have to continue to get better. We are going to play a lot better teams coming up - starting with Alabama - and we need to improve our play immensely to be able to play with these guys."
Not much at all is going well these days for Ole Miss - evidenced by ranking last in the SEC in scoring offense and next-to-last in scoring defense.
Some of it doesn't even make much sense.
Senior BenJarvus Green-Ellis is fifth in the SEC in rushing with 95 yards per game. But the Rebels are last in the league in rushing, averaging just 110 yards per game. If Green-Ellis doesn't get it, Ole Miss doesn't have a running game.
And senior quarterback Seth Adams is fourth in the SEC in passing - ahead of Alabama's John Parker Wilson, Georgia's Matthew Stafford, Auburn's Brandon Cox and LSU's Matt Flynn.
But it hasn't cleared a path to the end zone.
"As a whole, I think we did some good things," Adams said following the Louisiana Tech game. "I just think we stopped ourselves and made some mistakes."
Indeed, Adams threw three interceptions against the Bulldogs after throwing just four over the first five games.
If nothing else, though, Ole Miss will be brimming with confidence on defense.
"We worked hard again this week on tackling," Orgeron said. "We think we made some improvement last week on our fits, our linebackers being in the right spot against the run."
The 301 yards Louisiana Tech had were the fewest Ole Miss has allowed this season.
"We just emphasized tackling and winning," said linebacker Ashlee Palmer of the Louisiana Tech game. "We wanted a shutout and we got a shutout. We worked a lot on tackling because that has been our downfall so far this year."
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HOOD
- Veteran
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- Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2004 11:03 am
- Location: Destin , Fl via Auburn, Al - also at the double quick in Ruleville
Three SEC football fans were out for a ride when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road.
They stopped and discovered a nude female, passed out drunk.
Out of respect and propriety, the LSU fan took off his cap and placed
it over her right breast. The UGA fan took off his cap and placed it
over her left breast. Following their lead, but with some grumbling, the
Bama fan took off his cap and placed it over her girly part.
The police were called and when the first officer arrived, he
conducted his investigation. First he lifted up the LSU cap, replaced it and
wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the UGA cap and replaced it, writing down some more notes.
The officer then lifted the Bama cap, replaced it, then lifted it
again,replaced it, lifted it a third time and replaced it one last time.
The Bama fan was becoming annoyed and asked, "What are you, a pervert
or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and
looking?"
"Well," said the officer, "I am just simply surprised. Normally, when you look under a Bama cap... you find an "turd-cutter"."
They stopped and discovered a nude female, passed out drunk.
Out of respect and propriety, the LSU fan took off his cap and placed
it over her right breast. The UGA fan took off his cap and placed it
over her left breast. Following their lead, but with some grumbling, the
Bama fan took off his cap and placed it over her girly part.
The police were called and when the first officer arrived, he
conducted his investigation. First he lifted up the LSU cap, replaced it and
wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the UGA cap and replaced it, writing down some more notes.
The officer then lifted the Bama cap, replaced it, then lifted it
again,replaced it, lifted it a third time and replaced it one last time.
The Bama fan was becoming annoyed and asked, "What are you, a pervert
or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and
looking?"
"Well," said the officer, "I am just simply surprised. Normally, when you look under a Bama cap... you find an "turd-cutter"."
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