Youth Baseball...or sports in general

[SWAG]

Do you think too much emphasis is put on these kids to excell these days? May be guilty myself of putting alot of pressure on my kid to do well. Just this past week at the nine-year old state tourny I saw kid after kid stressing over whether he got a hit or struck out or booted a ball. Almost everytime it was not the coach the kids would look at after the episode, but their parent(s). I guess we all see potential in our kids and want them to do their very best, but when is it crossing the line. A great youth coach is one who can walk that fine line of building a kid's confidence on one hand and working him over with the other. I have seen very few "great" youth coaches. Mine was lucky enough to have had a couple so far. Not downing youth coaches because I know it is a huge effort and undertaking to do it. Probably parents are more to blame than anyone. Just never like to see nine year olds stressing over anything as small as striking out or booting a ball. World Series coming up in Southaven next week, I am sure the pressure will be even more. Give me your two cents....

[lowbar]

Were you at the tournament in Fulton? I was there also with my son's team. Some parents really push hard for their child to perform and you can tell which ones they are. Like you say they rarely look at the coach for approval or guidance, they look to the parents. I tell mine as long as he's having fun I'm having fun.

[SWAG]

Yea, I was in Fulton, we made it till Monday before being knocked out. Mine is having fun, but for the first time I am seeing him stress over the little things. I guess we all want our kids to be great atheletes, but I have certainly seen a need to back off some.

[Duckdawg10]

Not enough! This world has become a world of underachieving wussies (In my opinion). Now days kids want to sit back and play Xbox and watch TV and play on myspace.com. Kids are so babied that when one of them gets picked on at school they get a gun and kill a bunch of innocent kids. To many parents are letting their kids do whatever they want instead of encouraging them to engage in something they can become good at. Everyone can be good at being a loner and playinmg in a chat room. Not everyone can play a sport, join a group, be in the band. They need to be pushed that way, and they need to be encouraged to be the best. Yes, some people do go overboard. I have coached from 6-14 yrs of age, and I have seen a few parents pushing a little hard, but I also saw a heck of a lot more not pushing at all. If the kid wanted to be good it was up to him. To put a hunting spin on it, can your dog be a good retriever without your guidance and you pushing him. My wife loves it when I compare a kid to the dog!! I think there should be a happy medium. Also, if you look around, the ones pushing are the ones who were not athletes in high school and/or college or they were very good athletes(or thought so) and they want their children to be. Sorry so long, I just hate to see these kids running around completely out of control and not giving a crap about anything!

[mottlet]

I was a referee in a LOT of soccer games back in high school so that I could have money for shells come duck season. If someone can convince himself that that there aren't too many beserk parents out there, I want to come live in that reality. I once had to caution a parent for yelling AT HIS OWN CHILD!! I mean c'mon, how out of control do you have to be for a sixteen year old kid comes over and tells you to cool it? That in and of itself is a sign. But when he has to do it because of the things that you are literally screaming at your own son, something is bad wrong. All the horror stories you hear are true. I've had parents and coaches (who are usually parents) look for me in the parking lot after a game. Once, four or five fathers were absolutely not going to let me off of the field after a game unless it was on a stretcher. It goes without saying that the kids themselves had not yet been ushered to the car and were in full attendance. On the other side of the coin, I NEVER had a coach or a parent thank me for being there so their kid could play the game. Or apologize for being an booty. But the kids did. So tell me who is out of control.

And it doesn't stop with the refs. Yelling at the refs is a cherished tradition. Threatening him is not, but I don't think it really shocks anybody's little realm of reality. But when fully grown men and women start shouting insults at ten and twelve year children who they know nothing about, save that they play for the opposing team, I don't think that the problem stems from an X Box. For four years, I officiated everything from U-8s to U-16s and threw way more parents out of games than players.

mottlet

[Po Monkey Lounger]

I think many of today's parents are out of control with regard to pushing their kids too hard with respect to sports, etc. Such has been happening for many, many years, but it seems to get worse and worse every year, and at much earlier ages.

Certainly you can encourage your kids to participate in activities that interest them ---whether it be sports, music, dance, art, etc. --- without being a lunatic about it. Yes, they need to learn commitment, not quitting something you started, that practice and learning something new is not always easy, may not be fun and is likely going to require a lot of effort, but in the end, they do need to actually enjoy what they are doing, or it can be counter-productive.

Encourage your kids to participate in school activities, after school hobbies, sports, etc., but be careful to not apply so much pressure on them that they begin to hate the activity. Every kid is different, and some are self-motivated. Some require more encouragement for their motivation. But, in the end, remember that it is for them, not you. And if you care waaaaaay more about it than they do, then it may be time for a re-assessment of what you are doing as a parent.

I speak from experience as a participant in many sports, music, and other extra-curricular activities growing up, with parents who DID NOT pressure me, but were interested observers and encouragers. I was NEVER embarrased by my parents behavior at any sporting or other event. But, I constantly saw many of my friends who were ---- and I NEVER saw a single instance when such pressure by the parents caused better performance by the kid --- to the contrary, it was counter-productive and made those parents look like an booty. And I have gone through the same thing with my son ----- and in doing so, recalled how my parents handled it and followed their example.

[rebelduckaholic]

My parents never pressured me to play any sport. I just had a lot of fun with all of them. However there were several kids on my team whose parent pressured them too much. Two of the kids were really good, but they finally quit all sports and resorted to drugs. One I know was good enough to play at the pro level but the parents drove him away. Needless to say those kids by the time they were in high school hated the respective sports they played but were playing because of the parents.

[go24]

One BIG change that has come to kids sports of late is scheduling games on sunday. In our area they are played all day on sunday, not just in the afternoon. We've turned a curve. I think this is a bad move. Many of the kids/parents in my church are forced to make a decision they should not have to deal with. Even in this "enlightened" day, some of us still believe...