Ask DS - And Don't Laugh

[jacksbuddy]

Ok, I have a real question, and I bet all of you son of a guns are gonna laugh at it, but I'm actually serious.

How do you make a dog pee on a tree?

Now before the snide comments start, let me explain. In my back yard, I have two pear trees, a maple tree, an elm and a persimmon. The persimmon and one of the pear trees actually produce fruit - a lot of fruit. My neighbor has a garden and a family of squirrels has taken up residence in the ball cypress in his back yard. This gives these pesky critters easy access to his garden, my pears, and my persimmons.

I also have two dogs that, because my Mother-in-Law is so afraid of dogs, are kept in a kennel in the back yard and away from her. Jack and the Lap-Yapper only come out of their kennel (for the most part) to be fed and to run around the yard when she is inside. They have gotten so accustomed to the kennel that they prefer being there than loose in the yard.

While in the yard, they have peed on all the trees but the persimmon. The squirrels have avoided both pear trees, the elm tree, AND the maple tree at all costs. These varmits won't even go near them. However, the persimmon tree is their favorite. Since it is the only place in the yard where the dogs have NOT relieved themselves; The squirrels will bound straight from the ball cypress, over the fence, and straight to the persimmon. And these d@mn critters are eating my persimmons before they even have a chance to fully develop.

I am just before going full urban sniper on their @$$ with a .22 and forcing the entire HOA into lockdown over these pests. So, any and all advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

[gps4]

i think you have to show them which tree to pee on....

[RedEyed Duck]

High powered pellet rifle, much more fun! I put a dent in the population of the pests in my neighborhood with one and had a blast taking them out.

[7ducks]

High powered pellet rifle, much more fun! I put a dent in the population of the pests in my neighborhood with one and had a blast taking them out.

^^^^THIS

[Smoke68]

Put some Tinks 69 on the persimmon tree. That might work.

But yeah, I'd be more up for the pellet rifle in terms of fun.

[JLT]

Go pee on it yourself.....of course.....when your MIL isn't looking!!

[DoublePslayer]

Maybe get one of your other neighbors dog and turn loose in your yard while yours are at the vet or something. Visiting dog will mark every tree there, and yours will in turn re-mark them all, and maybe get your persimmon tree as well this time.

[Blackduck]

1200 fps pellet rifle and get rid of the MIL.

[ufgators68]

Sounds like you have a mother in law problem.

[jacksbuddy]

Sounds like you have a mother in law problem.

Naaa. The MIL is ok. The FIL on the other hand.......

[deerhunt1988]

Go pee on it yourself.....of course.....when your MIL isn't looking!!

We all know how enjoyable it is to take a whizz outside, even when you are at home..During my teenage years I'd walk out back and pee on some plants in the flowerbed. I kid you not, my dog took suit. Plants ended up yellowing.

So there may be some merit to what you proposed...

[JLT]

Yep...... I have a 2 and 4 year old boys. We have killed a few of Momma's shrubs. It was worth the fallout!!!

[DoublePslayer]

Yep...... I have a 2 and 4 year old boys. We have killed a few of Momma's shrubs. It was worth the fallout!!!

Side note, but go pee on the same patch of Bermuda grass all winter long and let me know how it looks in the spring. I pee off the back porch every chance i get since we live out in God's Country, and i have a patch of Bermuda that is as green as it can get. Just as thick as hair on a dogs back. The rest of the yard, not so much. I think its the ammonia in urine that does it.

[jacksbuddy]

What a forum! Ask for help with squirrels around here and you can get yourself a bunch of "I-Pee-In-The-Yard-Too" stories.

[missed mallards]

What a forum! Ask for help with squirrels around here and you can get yourself a bunch of "I-Pee-In-The-Yard-Too" stories.

I'm just glad to know I ain't the only one who enjoys it lol. To answer. Get u a small board for a backstop and corn. And a high powered air rifle.

Follow the 3S's and go on about your business!