Parenting question - axe DS

[country_20boy]

First, I know this isn't the best place to ask for parenting advice, but I figure it's a good cross section of dads that are going through the same issues.

My daughter who is 6, almost 7, comes home from playing at the neighbor's house yesterday and is singing Taylor Swift's new song "Bad Blood". I've never heard it, but the wife tells me it's pretty rough. No cursing, but it's very violent. My wife quizzes daughter on where she heard that and then learns that she and neighbor girl (same age, 6) had been watching videos on the neighbor mom's Ipad. My wife watched the said Taylor Swift video and tells me that it's just as bad as it sounds. Apparently, the singer shoots her man, references killing someone several times, etc., not to mention the sexy, raunchy dress and dancing.
Today my daughter comes home from same neighbor house and is telling my wife they were googling "ghost stories" and she is afraid she'll have nightmares tonight. Upon more quizzing, we learn that the neighbor mom lets the girls have the Ipad with internet access, completely unattended and unsupervised in the daughter's room with the door shut.

Now for the question: are we the only parents that don't think a 6 or 7 yr old needs to have internet access without direct supervision?

I know there are family filters available and I hope the neighbor mom has something in place to keep the really, really bad stuff out, but google or Apple's idea of what is appropriate for my daughter is probably not the same as my idea.

What say you guys? I know I'm not the first to deal with this. I'm sure they're not watching hard core porn, but I want to preserve my daughters innocence as long as I can. Lord knows she'll grow up too fast anyway without any help.

[Smoke68]

I've got a 6yo girl. She just went with my mom to visit cousins in TN. Came back singing "My Humps". Turns out it was a teen sing-along version with the lyrics changed, but my wife and I didn't care. I sat down and talked with my girl and found out that her cousins had THEIR OWN ipads. They snuck them into bed at night and used them as they saw fit.

So, yeah, I'm in the same boat.

Our solution is simple. Next time my mom wants to take the kids to see their cousins, either the ipads are gone and out of the home, or our kids won't be there. I don't trust someone who allows a child to have unfettered access to technology to have the judgment required to appropriately monitor said technology when my kids are around.

[country_20boy]

I don't trust someone who allows a child to have unfettered access to technology to have the judgment required to appropriately monitor said technology when my kids are around.

You said a mouthful there and I agree.

[1010]

My advice,, explain to her all the garbage that's out there. Be firm.
Let the friend come your house way more than your girl at hers. Purposely bump into the father and ease into what's gone on.
Hopefully he will feel as you do about ipads.
Communicate with you're wife, and back each other up. Get daughter to church!!
Keep her busy. oh, did I say keep her busy!!
Prayer sent for you!

[the tree]

Call the other mom and express your concerns, hopefully you will have better support from her then trying to reason with a 7 year old.

[Long Cut]

One way to handle it may be to tell your daughter that she is not allowed to be on the iPad or computer at anyone else's home period. If she will hold strong to that when she is at this other child's home then it should put a stop to it.
It could also cause the parents who allow the unsupervised access to the web to call you inquiring about why your child has been given these rules inturn allowing you to state your concerns to them.

[COONDOG]

An Ipad IS NOT a babysitter which is what a lot of parents are using them for these days. I would definitely call the mother and express my concern to her.

[Unlucky Duck]

I am going to weigh in on the discussion and I consider myself almost an overprotective parent. I too have a 7 year old daughter and she uses the family ipad and I am somewhat comfortable with it and I "spot check" when she is using to ensure she is not viewing anything inappropreiate, she does not have free reign to the internet. We have parental controls on the ipad and I am not sure what controls would block a Taylor Swift video. Regarding the "bad blood" song, it is kinda rough for a 7 year old if you were to read the words but I assure you just like when we were kids they do not hear the words. That is not an excuse it is reality.
If you hear/read the words to most songs now it would shock you. I have taken a 180 degree turn in my viewing and listening since I have had a child. Their is a country song by Eric Church, who I like a lot, that I will change station if my daughter is in the truck with me. The song I believe is wrecking ball.

[country_20boy]

One way to handle it may be to tell your daughter that she is not allowed to be on the iPad or computer at anyone else's home period. If she will hold strong to that when she is at this other child's home then it should put a stop to it.

This is basically the approach my wife wants to take because she doesn't want to be confrontational with the other mom. I think this puts too much pressure on my 6 yr old.....Do I really think she is going to jump up and run home next time the other kid turns on the Ipad? My daughter is a really really good kid, but she is going to fall to peer pressure, just like we all did/do.

I think it won't be as much of an issue now that school has started cause the kids won't have much time to play together during the week and on weekends, she is going with me to the farm.

[country_20boy]

I am going to weigh in on the discussion and I consider myself almost an overprotective parent. I too have a 7 year old daughter and she uses the family ipad and I am somewhat comfortable with it and I "spot check" when she is using to ensure she is not viewing anything inappropreiate, she does not have free reign to the internet. We have parental controls on the ipad and I am not sure what controls would block a Taylor Swift video. Regarding the "bad blood" song, it is kinda rough for a 7 year old if you were to read the words but I assure you just like when we were kids they do not hear the words. That is not an excuse it is reality.
If you hear/read the words to most songs now it would shock you. I have taken a 180 degree turn in my viewing and listening since I have had a child. Their is a country song by Eric Church, who I like a lot, that I will change station if my daughter is in the truck with me. The song I believe is wrecking ball.

It's not so much the words as the video. My wife made me watch it last night. It basically is a parody of your average shoot-em-up, blow up everything and everybody, burn it to the ground, R-rated summer blockbuster movie.

and I listen to K-love in the truck when the girls are with me cause country music is no better than pop.

[tombstone]

very very very few songs of any genre are suitable for 6 year olds. Unsupervised internet surfing is bad bad medicine whether she is 6 or 13. I have two girls 9 and 13 and fight the battle. Radio Disney has kid friendly versions of some songs, but it is difficult to explain to a 6 year old and impossible for them to differentiate.

K Love is safe

[Smoke68]

One way to handle it may be to tell your daughter that she is not allowed to be on the iPad or computer at anyone else's home period. If she will hold strong to that when she is at this other child's home then it should put a stop to it.

This is basically the approach my wife wants to take because she doesn't want to be confrontational with the other mom. I think this puts too much pressure on my 6 yr old.....Do I really think she is going to jump up and run home next time the other kid turns on the Ipad? My daughter is a really really good kid, but she is going to fall to peer pressure, just like we all did/do.

I think it won't be as much of an issue now that school has started cause the kids won't have much time to play together during the week and on weekends, she is going with me to the farm.

I hear where she's coming from. And depending on the relationship you have with the other mom, I might go either way. I'm pretty selective on which houses I let my kids go to. If the relationship isn't there to be able to talk about these things among adults, like adults, then I don't think I let my child go over to that house in the first place. Heck, I'd prefer they stay outside anyways.

This is just me, and what I think I'd do. I certainly don't trust any 6 year old any farther than I can throw them. Which actually is pretty far, so maybe that's a bad analogy.