Changing jobs without burning bridges? **update**

[jacksbuddy]

Is the interview with another company? If so, go to the interview and and if it happens, address the boss when it is time (aka, after your offered the job).

When it is time, give plenty of notice to help transfer knowledge to the new person in your position and or find a replacement. Tell him that you have been offered a chance to grow, and prosper in another job. It is a chance to better your self and the life of your family.
If he takes that personally he is not really your friend.

^^^^THIS!!^^^^

Long gone are he days of starting as a clerk and working your way up to CEO. That simply does not happen any longer, I'm sorry to say. Be professional. Be honorable. Keep focused on your priorities. If it gets ugly, take the high road. And keep us posted. Good luck.

[MemphisStockBroker]

be open and honest with him. tell him the offer you get from the other company. maybe he will be willing to match it. thank him for the opportunity and training you received. but you should work for the highest bidder of your services. its just business.

[ducknbuck1]

Very Very few employers will look out for you when its time to tighten the belt because work is slow or business is off. Question you have to ask yourself is it really got bad at your company and he had to make some hard decisions based on what would save his company, do you think he would keep you around even though that wasn't what was best for the company??? I highly doubt it. I am sure he will be pissed, but he will get over it if he is a a true friend of the family. Do like alot of others have said and give the most notice you can and let him know that you will do whatever is asked of you to make the transistion smoother even if it makes your life harder. Be the bigger man and do what is best for your family!!!! Good luck

[the tree]

Despite you boss, do you enjoy the job? If you like your work, but have issue with your boss, you might want to discuss your concerns with him. If he is a small business owner and has been in business for the past 10-15 years, he has been through a difficult economy and might have a good reason for being sour.

[stang67]

In the cases I've declined a job offer or resigned, I've always assumed the bridges would be burned, whether that was the case or not. If you are worried you may some day need to come back there for a job, that's a legitimate concern you must weigh. If the concern is merely personal/social, you do what's best for your family.

[the doctor]

"@#$%#" him...move on. Friends is friends and money is money.

the doc

[Greenhead329]

Thanks for all the advice and support guys.
Ive been worrying about a lot of "what ifs" right now…Still haven't sat for the interview yet so counting a big chicken that hasn't hatched.
But I am waiting with eager anticipation; I have been needing a change (not the obama kind lol) for some while, and events within the past 3 months have solidified the desire to move on. Especially with the right offer...Several of his former employees have said and I quote.."I don't trust him to do anything except help himself"
I really want to vent all my frustrations but here is not the place to do it…but I have really been getting screwed over…

I personally wouldn't care if the bridge was burned if not for the family friend aspect.

Just getting home from a DAY….and I'm a little more aggravated than in my first post, but still want to keep things on a friendly disposition..

[Greenhead329]

Update. ...

Have a letter of recommendation in for a second job as of this morning. ..Guy that's retiring (government job)
came by and said he would recommend me with my qualifications! !!

[kb7722]

I have seen where several have recommended "giving as much notice as possible." I don't necessarily recommend this. This topic has come up on here before, and like others have said I think its better for both parties to cut ties and move on as quickly as possible. I think intentions are good by giving a months notice, but I think it can lead to more harm than good for both parties. Just something to think about.

[slayem]

I have seen where several have recommended "giving as much notice as possible." I don't necessarily recommend this. This topic has come up on here before, and like others have said I think its better for both parties to cut ties and move on as quickly as possible. I think intentions are good by giving a months notice, but I think it can lead to more harm that good for both parties. Just something to think about.

X2

[dukhntn]

I have seen where several have recommended "giving as much notice as possible." I don't necessarily recommend this. This topic has come up on here before, and like others have said I think its better for both parties to cut ties and move on as quickly as possible. I think intentions are good by giving a months notice, but I think it can lead to more harm than good for both parties. Just something to think about.

I believe how easily you can be replaced/what you do has a large bearing on this. When I left a previous job I gave 3 months notice, and even then I felt like that wasn't enough to get things transferred over. Anyone can be replaced, how easily is another matter. If/when you do give your notice, be prepared for that to be your last day. Have any files, documents, etc... ready to go in case you are fired on the spot.

[duramax]

Sevenhead thats about what I'm expecting

Teul, thanks thats about what I had planned, but I don't expect it to go smoothly
He's already basically said he'll fire me if he finds out I even have a part time job.

Well most full time employers don't want their employees to have part time jobs. That's nothing unusual. Him being crass and threatening you is a bit extreme, but an employer doesn't want a full time employee focusing on anything other than their job. My contract with my last employer clearly stated outside employment was not acceptable and effectively that you could be asked to leave if I did work somewhere else.

Simply way if you even get the other job, is to speak to him man to man and say you thank him for everything he's done, but the choice is purely business and that you have to consider your family (future, yada yada...) and that it's a better fit for you at this stage in your career. Give ample reasonable notice (more than 3 weeks is excessive), and you can mention you value your personal relationship, and that you hope it can remain intact (whether you mean it or not is a separate matter). I just read an article about how important it is to leave your employer on the best terms possible. As long as you attempt that, keep a level head even if it escalates, you will be 1000 fold better off than the guy who goes out in a blaze of glory and tells of his boss and quits.

[Greenhead329]

Thanks again for the continued suggestions;

Talked with the new place. They are willing to hire me, working individual shifts as needed on a trial basis. (One day per week as of right now) They are worried if I will work out..as my boss's reputation proceeds me.…Oddly enough it travels far..

But its a foot in the door, Im excited and may lead to better things, and if things go further south I will at least be able to supplement my income some.

[teul2]

Sounds risky. I hope it works out for you.
Good luck.

[Greenhead329]

Thanks Teul,

The new place is working withe my current schedule since it's a trial run.. so only risk right now is the current boss finding out..