Changing jobs without burning bridges? **update**

[Greenhead329]

Long story short things have not been going well recently between me and the boss, or any of the other employees and the boss for that matter lately. I have a chance to interview at a job making more per year base salary with a production incentive, and a full benefits package working 3-4 days a week …i.e. its better all around than my current job.

Problem comes is the boss has been a friend of the family for years and takes everything personal even if its not. Although I'm ready to move on, I'm not ready to just say screw you….

Looking for some ways to do this politely and politically correct if possible.

[sevenhead]

I swear I don't think it's possible. I left a company one time, gave my month's notice with a long letter thanking them for all they had done, boss looked me square in the eye and said "F*** YOU, get your sh*t and get out!" I said Yes sir. Good luck with it, if the new job is that great, what are you waitin on.

[teul2]

Is the interview with another company? If so, go to the interview and and if it happens, address the boss when it is time (aka, after your offered the job).

When it is time, give plenty of notice to help transfer knowledge to the new person in your position and or find a replacement. Tell him that you have been offered a chance to grow, and prosper in another job. It is a chance to better your self and the life of your family.
If he takes that personally he is not really your friend.

[Greenhead329]

Sevenhead thats about what I'm expecting

Teul, thanks thats about what I had planned, but I don't expect it to go smoothly
He's already basically said he'll fire me if he finds out I even have a part time job.

[Barq's]

yep, if it's better all around for you and the fam then you have to do what is best for you and the fam....If you are that "valued" then he will have the opportunity to give you a better offer.
All of the pay raises that I received over the years that were worth talking about came in the form of new employment. 9 times out of 10, once a company has you there isn't much incentive to give you anything over the measly cola raises that have dwindled to nothing.
new job or new position...
Do what you have to do!
Barq's

[redneck22ms]

Sevenhead thats about what I'm expecting

Teul, thanks thats about what I had planned, but I don't expect it to go smoothly
He's already basically said he'll fire me if he finds out I even have a part time job.

the last sentence tells me its time to go somewhere else no matter if it burns the bridge or not. that guy doesn't deserve your friendship

[duckter]

If it's not possible to leave on friendly terms, then they weren't worth working for.

JUST MY .02 cents

[mossyisland]

Is the interview with another company? If so, go to the interview and and if it happens, address the boss when it is time (aka, after your offered the job).

When it is time, give plenty of notice to help transfer knowledge to the new person in your position and or find a replacement. Tell him that you have been offered a chance to grow, and prosper in another job. It is a chance to better your self and the life of your family.
If he takes that personally he is not really your friend.

This is exactly the right way to handle it.

[craziehunter18]

Just last week at a new employee eating my co-worker was told that greener grass on the other side was so b/c someone had crapped(not the word used) in it. The main focus of topic was do not leave the company to go to the oil field.

[tombstone]

I walked down this same road three years ago. I had been at the job for 13.5 years. I loved the owner and then he passed away and his son took over. I had a chance to increase my salary dramatically. I would also lose some of the best hunting and fishing in the world. In the end, I knew I had to do what was best for my family. I had to be able to look in the mirror and say I did my best for the ones I loved the most. I gave a months notice and wrote the long letter saying thank you, etc. The boss did not speak to me for the last month I was there. No good bye, no nothing. I worked as hard as ever the last month, and left knowing that I did so in an honorable way. Hunting and fishing will never be the same, but I have great bosses now and I enjoy life more. The only difference between a rut and the grave is the depth. Bow up, don't be afraid (like I had been for years), and take hold of a great new opportunity. Even if this does not work, it sounds like it is the break you need to bust loose from a captive situation.

[mfalkner]

I walked down this same road three years ago. I had been at the job for 13.5 years. I loved the owner and then he passed away and his son took over. I had a chance to increase my salary dramatically. I would also lose some of the best hunting and fishing in the world. In the end, I knew I had to do what was best for my family. I had to be able to look in the mirror and say I did my best for the ones I loved the most. I gave a months notice and wrote the long letter saying thank you, etc. The boss did not speak to me for the last month I was there. No good bye, no nothing. I worked as hard as ever the last month, and left knowing that I did so in an honorable way. Hunting and fishing will never be the same, but I have great bosses now and I enjoy life more. The only difference between a rut and the grave is the depth. Bow up, don't be afraid (like I had been for years), and take hold of a great new opportunity. Even if this does not work, it sounds like it is the break you need to bust loose from a captive situation.

^ This... It's your life, you owe it to your family. A real friend would never make it uncomfortable for an employee to better themselves.

[Bourbon]

I was in a similar position last year. New opportunity came up that I could not pass up. I was fairly close to my boss and just talked to him man to man. I gave them as much notice as i could. I bent over backwards finishing up projects and transferring them over. Gave them my personal email address and phone number to contact me if anything came up. Shared my new work email address as soon as I had it up and running.

Still talk to my old boss and are still friends. Also, saw my old CEO in Academy and had a good talk.

My advice is to do the right thing by giving them as much notice as possible, offer to help transfer projects or documents and help with transition in any way possible, write a cordial resignation letter and be the bigger person if it comes to it. You can't control how others act or react, all you can do is do the right thing by yourself and family.

[tica-tica]

If it's not possible to leave on friendly terms, then they weren't worth working for.

JUST MY .02 cents

must agree with the duckter...

If they have bad blood because you have a great opportunity then you don't need to be working for them in the first place.

Forget that "I gave you an opportunity" stuff. Everybody grows in their career and if they want to keep you they can make it right. Even if one-sided bad blood happens, thank them for the opportunity and be respectful. They can burn the bridge but not you. Somebody gave them an opportunity one day and what did they do? They took it, just like you should take it.

[fireplug]

I don't know about you, but I don't go to work to make friends. We all go to work for a paycheck to support our families.
If you have an opportunity to better yours and your family's future, there are no business relationships that should stop you from doing that.
If he's threatening firing you for taking a part time job (which is none of his business) then I would have already parted ways with him.

Just my $0.02

[skywalker]

Really? Why are you worried? If he is a true 'friend' of the family he will want what is best for you and your 'family'............if he gets mad, he will get over it..........After seeing numerous layoffs and previous employer tactics, do what is best for you NOW.....man up, kill the interview, turn in your notice in a professional/respectful manner and don't worry about the rest.

Praying for strength bro.