Ukraine - Going to Kiev!

[mudsucker]

I missed this earlier this week. Best news I have seen all week! We adopted a girl from China in'02. She is a delight and the best thing we as a family have EVER done. Sarah Grace is a keeper for us and I am sure you all will feel the same when adjusted to each other. One of my co- workers adopted a sister and brother from Russia when the kids were like 6 and 5 and now they are hard working teenagers going in the 12th. and 11th. grade! He told me the boy has 2 jobs. Hard pressed to get any teenager to do that!

[matador1]

I nominate this thread "Greatest thread of 2013". Congratulations man!

[copasaw]

When i was in the marines we went to a orphanage in odessa ukraine and did some remodeling and painting of the orphange. i had a great time doing that over there. We were the first american military personnel to go there since the wars. pretty neat place to visit and the people are nice.

[Up2Early]

Greetings once again from Odessa,

I am in our host’s apartment and I’ve just finished up my long run for the week - not that I need it after all the walking to be done here, but it felt good to get out and use some running speed to clear the head. There’s been a lot going on these past few days.

Anastasia and Michael are staying at Camp Victoria, which is a private camp that hosts four 3-week segments each summer. The children from the orphanage essentially move to the camp, which is a kilometer from the orphanage, for the entire summer. Children from the community come for a three week session. There are probably 250 children housed at the camp at present. Some speak a little English and they have helped me with my “courtesy phrases.” I’ve found communicating with the camp children easier than communicating with adults. They have all started calling me “Daahd” since my own kids call me that and I respond. I don’t think they grasp the concept or meaning of this word since they use “Papa” instead of “Dad”, but it is poignant reminder of the situation for my wife and me. Suzanne and I are excited by the prospect that our children will never spend another night in the orphanage if the timetable holds!

We’re visiting the children for 3-4 hours each afternoon and having a great time getting to know each other. It’s getting harder and harder to leave them behind each day. There is a lot of Frisbee, hacky sack, card games, board games, and Legos. We become the center of attention pretty quickly. The children are starving for caring attention - especially from a man - and they flock to me.

The Russian-English Dictionary has been very helpful as we have not had our translator with us since Thursday. Anastasia is careful to spend special one-on-one with each person in our family. She and Michael are watching our body language carefully to determine how we feel since there is such a communication gap. Aaron was working on a macramé bracelet yesterday and one of the older boys took it while he was distracted. He was quite hurt and Anastasia was concerned she had done something to offend him because he realized it was gone while he was playing with her - out comes the dictionary!

We did not get to visit today because Anastasia asked us not to come. Her birth mother, who lost parental rights four years ago, came for a visit and Anastasia didn’t want there to be a conflict. My heart has been heavy for her since yesterday, when I learned of the planned visit. This has to be a difficult thing when you’re thirteen, but I’ve seen enough from her to know she can do it. Suzanne and I wrote her a note of encouragement and had it translated. We’ll see them tomorrow afternoon with hopes that all went well. We also have an interview with the Children’s Ministry Administration tomorrow. I think there are two more after this one.

Our Sunday included worship at a Russian/English church, an al fresco lunch, a great walking tour of downtown Odessa, and a Russian circus performance. We saw a number of famous sites in Odessa – the Potiomkin Staircase, the One-Wall House, Odessa Opera House, Odessa Transfiguration Church, etc. Our host has an English-speaking friend who lives downtown and led our tour so it had plenty of local flair. Downtown Odessa is truly a beautiful place with coastal vistas and stunning architecture

Jordan and Ryan are returning to the US with Christi later this week and will leave us Wednesday evening.

A lighter note - I tried ordering coffee on the street yesterday and got laughed at. It’s not that hard, but I apparently speak Redneck Russian! Kofe Amerikano sut molokom i sukharom, anyone?

U2E

[Up2Early]

edited

[champcaller]

Good update!

Keep us posted.

[landscaper]

Really good stuff! Keep it coming. I'm proud there are people like you and your family with hearts for adoption!

[Up2Early]

We were informed Tuesday that our court date, which was originally scheduled for 8/6, had been changed to 8/16. This meant that after our final appointment with the attorney today (Thursday), we would not have any official business in Odessa and could go home for several weeks if we wished. It was a difficult decision to leave Anastasia and Michael at the camp, but we felt it best if we accompanied Jordan and Ryan back to the US. Both will be starting school in a few days and it will good to help them get settled as both are entering new periods in their educational careers. Jordan will take co-op homeschool course and she will take courses at Holmes as a dual-enrolled student. Ryan will be a student at Germantown Middle this year, mainly so he can play football.

We have made it from Odessa to Kiev this evening and will start the long journey home tomorrow at 6AM. If all works to plan, we will land in Jackson at 5:30PM Saturday. Whew!

Anastasia and Michael seem to be bonding with us well. A group from Canada arrived Monday. They have multiple dual language people and have been such a blessing to us. We've been able to communicate on a far deeper level with the translation help. We've gotten to hear the children's concerns and answer their many questions. The visit with their birth mother seems to have gone well, but she has not been told about the pending adoption yet. She does not have any parental rights and we understand she has a significant "medical condition" that would not allow her to contest the adoption in any regard. Anastasia and Michael really don't have any relationship with her, as she has only visited twice in the past three years. They don't call her "Mom" or even "Mama". Obviously, we're going to leave the door wide open for the children to travel to Ukraine for a future visit if they ever feel the need to do so.

With the new court date, the best case scenario for our final homecoming is 9/13!

Changing thoughts completely, we learned early on that one best travel with the necessary supplies for hygienic toileting. Some restaurants have adequate supplies, but other public areas (including government buildings) are likely to be devoid of paper and hand towels. The children's camp is no different. Remember your days at camp as a youth? Your parents sent you with virtually everything you would need for the experience - sheets, bug spray, toilet paper, etc. When the children from the community show up at camp, their parents have usually supplied them with the necessities. The orphanage children depend on the government for these supplies and the allocation is meager at best.

This point was illustrated very well for Suzanne and me this week. Last night, we were talking to the children about our decision to leave and Suzanne had the idea to make a calendar so Anastasia could check off the days until we return. I went in search of a piece of paper to make the calendar and finally was supplied with three sheets of copy paper. While I was making the calendar, Michael walked by and was so excited to see me working on the calendar. That's when he asked if he could have a sheet of the paper. Of course, I said yes and he started running off when I handed him the paper. I assumed he was looking for a pen and I had several in my backpack so I called him back to offer them to him. All his friends then started laughing. You guessed it - he was running to the bathroom with the sheet of copy paper as his "supply". When a young boy gets excited about the prospect of wiping with copy paper, you know he's living a rough life. Man, I can't wait to get them out of there!

[eSJay]

good stuff david!
you're my hero!

[Hambone]

Sincere question: What's the basis of the trend of adopting children from foreign countries? Availability? Ease of procedure? I have seen more and more of this lately and am simply curious.

[Up2Early]

Sincere question: What's the basis of the trend of adopting children from foreign countries? Availability? Ease of procedure? I have seen more and more of this lately and am simply curious.

My personal opinion and nothing more. And, I should state my perspective is that of someone desiring to adopt older (not baby) children. I have no idea what might influence a family seeking an infant to consider domestic vs international.

According to a statistic I read a couple of years ago, US children make up about 5% of the world's adoptable population of non-infant children, so it makes sense that the majority of adoptions would be what we consider international. So, in that sense, i guess availability does play some role.

My wife and I tried a domestic adoption through the foster care system for several years and were quite disappointed with the system. We identified no less than 9 sibling groups we wanted to adopt and submitted formal inquiries on each of them. Frankly, you wouldn't believe the reasons we were told no. One set of children had an uncle who didn't want them to move from California to Mississippi. One set of Native American siblings were a no go because the tribe was afraid we would get the tribal benefit share for the children. We were told no at various times because of our age (40+), number of current children, and health history. Another case worker denied us because we indicated our homeschooling preference and she wanted the children in a traditional school setting. I'm not opposed to that if it's the right choice for the children, but it should be MY choice! The closest we got was a 10 year girl with MS who truly loved her foster family and she said no when the foster family agreed to make her situation permanent. That's when we threw in the towel and started working toward an international adoption.

Domestically, if you desire to adopt a child who is black or has special/medical needs, you can do it in about 6 months. My nephew did just that. If the child is neither, it's going to take a while and you should probably apply to be a foster family first and adopt the child you are fostering if s/he comes available.

I can assure you the process of international adoption is FAR more expensive and the process isn't any easier. It just seems there are more people who have an interest in getting it done versus keeping you in the system.

[mudsucker]

Sincere question: What's the basis of the trend of adopting children from foreign countries? Availability? Ease of procedure? I have seen more and more of this lately and am simply curious.

Read about the plight of little girls in China and you can see what influenced me and my wife to go that route. Plus, we were in our early 40's and it would have been very hard to get an infant. Sarah Grace was 9 mts. old when we got her.

[farmboy]

Smile and keep trying to speak the language soon you will get your coffee with milk and sugar.

[cwink]

Praying for yall...keep us updated. Our adopted son Aaron is 7 months now and is an amazing little boy.

[farmboy]

I've adopted 2 here in the states it took years and God's Grace to get it done but well worth it....even if it means I float in the estrogen ocean. The oldest will graduate from state after 3 years this May.