Ask DS - And Don't Laugh

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jacksbuddy
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Ask DS - And Don't Laugh

Postby jacksbuddy » Tue Sep 05, 2017 7:39 am

Ok, I have a real question, and I bet all of you son of a guns are gonna laugh at it, but I'm actually serious.

How do you make a dog pee on a tree?

Now before the snide comments start, let me explain. In my back yard, I have two pear trees, a maple tree, an elm and a persimmon. The persimmon and one of the pear trees actually produce fruit - a lot of fruit. My neighbor has a garden and a family of squirrels has taken up residence in the ball cypress in his back yard. This gives these pesky critters easy access to his garden, my pears, and my persimmons.

I also have two dogs that, because my Mother-in-Law is so afraid of dogs, are kept in a kennel in the back yard and away from her. Jack and the Lap-Yapper only come out of their kennel (for the most part) to be fed and to run around the yard when she is inside. They have gotten so accustomed to the kennel that they prefer being there than loose in the yard.

While in the yard, they have peed on all the trees but the persimmon. The squirrels have avoided both pear trees, the elm tree, AND the maple tree at all costs. These varmits won't even go near them. However, the persimmon tree is their favorite. Since it is the only place in the yard where the dogs have NOT relieved themselves; The squirrels will bound straight from the ball cypress, over the fence, and straight to the persimmon. And these d@mn critters are eating my persimmons before they even have a chance to fully develop.

I am just before going full urban sniper on their @$$ with a .22 and forcing the entire HOA into lockdown over these pests. So, any and all advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
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gps4
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Re: Ask DS - And Don't Laugh

Postby gps4 » Tue Sep 05, 2017 8:07 am

i think you have to show them which tree to pee on....
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RedEyed Duck
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Re: Ask DS - And Don't Laugh

Postby RedEyed Duck » Tue Sep 05, 2017 8:12 am

High powered pellet rifle, much more fun! I put a dent in the population of the pests in my neighborhood with one and had a blast taking them out.
I am interested in purchasing duck calls that were made by Mike McLemore. I am a family member and they have a sentimental value.
7ducks
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Re: Ask DS - And Don't Laugh

Postby 7ducks » Tue Sep 05, 2017 8:25 am

A duck call is one of the best conservation tools ever invented
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Smoke68
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Re: Ask DS - And Don't Laugh

Postby Smoke68 » Tue Sep 05, 2017 8:37 am

Put some Tinks 69 on the persimmon tree. That might work.

But yeah, I'd be more up for the pellet rifle in terms of fun.

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Re: Ask DS - And Don't Laugh

Postby JLT » Tue Sep 05, 2017 9:22 am

Go pee on it yourself.....of course.....when your MIL isn't looking!!
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DoublePslayer
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Re: Ask DS - And Don't Laugh

Postby DoublePslayer » Tue Sep 05, 2017 10:08 am

Maybe get one of your other neighbors dog and turn loose in your yard while yours are at the vet or something. Visiting dog will mark every tree there, and yours will in turn re-mark them all, and maybe get your persimmon tree as well this time.
De inimico non loquaris male, sed cogites
Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive and don't ever apologize for anything." Harry S. Truman
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Blackduck
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Re: Ask DS - And Don't Laugh

Postby Blackduck » Tue Sep 05, 2017 10:40 am

1200 fps pellet rifle and get rid of the MIL.
No, i don't want to know you ---- teul

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ufgators68
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Re: Ask DS - And Don't Laugh

Postby ufgators68 » Tue Sep 05, 2017 11:26 am

Sounds like you have a mother in law problem.
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jacksbuddy
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Re: Ask DS - And Don't Laugh

Postby jacksbuddy » Tue Sep 05, 2017 12:16 pm

Nobody owes you anything.
deerhunt1988
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Re: Ask DS - And Don't Laugh

Postby deerhunt1988 » Tue Sep 05, 2017 4:48 pm

JLT
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Re: Ask DS - And Don't Laugh

Postby JLT » Tue Sep 05, 2017 7:22 pm

Yep...... I have a 2 and 4 year old boys. We have killed a few of Momma's shrubs. It was worth the fallout!!!
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DoublePslayer
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Re: Ask DS - And Don't Laugh

Postby DoublePslayer » Wed Sep 06, 2017 8:01 am

De inimico non loquaris male, sed cogites
Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive and don't ever apologize for anything." Harry S. Truman
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jacksbuddy
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Re: Ask DS - And Don't Laugh

Postby jacksbuddy » Wed Sep 06, 2017 10:28 am

What a forum! Ask for help with squirrels around here and you can get yourself a bunch of "I-Pee-In-The-Yard-Too" stories. :lol: :lol: :lol:
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missed mallards
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Re: Ask DS - And Don't Laugh

Postby missed mallards » Wed Sep 06, 2017 10:50 am

If I don't do it, I ain't gettin nun.......So i'm doing it

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