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Looking for some general advice.....

I coached my boy's T-Ball team last year. We had a great time with it. Figured I'd coach again this year in 1st year coach pitch. Unlike last year, we had a draft with each kid being rated. It was a blind draft so you didn't know who you were picking, just what number the kid was. When the draft was complete, you could view your roster and choose to boot one kid off the team for any reason, the example given was "nope, used to date his momma."

Anyways, guy next to me took a 3 second look at his roster and booted a kid. Kid goes to me. I don't know the kid from Adam, but had a sneaking suspicion I'd figure out real quick what the deal was. And I did yesterday at the first practice.

The child seems to have a mental handicap. I'd ask him to move somewhere, and he'd just look at me. I had no choice but to go out and calmly grab him by the arm and lead him to where I want him to be; he tried to bite me. I ask him to throw me the ball; he throws it straight down at his feet on purpose. With kids swinging bats, he came close to getting clocked a few times just because he's no where someone tells him to be for very long.

I've got multiple kids to work with and can't tend to this child 1 on 1 all the time. I don't care about these kids developing good athletic fundamentals at this age and him taking away from their development; they need to learn the rules, have fun, hit some balls, and use up every once of energy I can get out of them. But I don't see how I can do that safely with this kid. His grandmother brought him to practice; I plan to talk to her 1 on 1 next chance I get just to get some feedback on how to interact with the child. If there's a way for HIM to have fun on the team, I want to find it. But it seems as though he has no interest in being there.

What say you?

Been there, done that!!!!! We are in 9U now and I recall a time when I had a kid on my 6U team that had/has the same development problems that you speak of. I also got the impression that his parents only enrolled him in the sport for a short term babysitter. I eventually had to have a one on one meeting with his parents to let them know that my one and only obligation was to make sure every child was safe and NOT to babysit. in order to keep everyone safe including this particular child, I placed him in the outfield away from the field of play. It was the only option because of his disability. Now every i see this child on the ball fields, he makes a point to come up and speak and usually get a good hug from him.

Man I feel for you and right now you are in a no win situation. I have been there. From the grandparents/parents perspective it is just recreational ball and they want their child to interact. Unfortunately the league probably doesn't care b/c they got the $ and development for the rest of the team this year will suffer.

A few years ago my daughter wanted to play soccer so I signed her up in the spring season. They needed a coach due to one of the fall teams only had 1 or 2 players returning. Ironically the strongest team in the league decided to give the new coach a special needs kid that was on there team in the fall. The parents would drop her off and then go watch their son play most days. Not only was I down a player when she was on the field I also had to essentially baby sit her. Most games she would stand there and cry. I had 2 girls that were athletic (my daughter and GPS4's daughter). My daughter almost quit playing soccer due to that experience, I am glad she didn't b/c she is flourishing in the sport now but it literally took me a month of talking her into signing up. Due to league rules, I am not sure there is to much you can do. I hate to tell you that. I remember complaining once about the situation and a mom spouted off how rude I was etc. etc. Ironically her daughters played on the team the special team kids got the boot from. In a nice as way as I could I voiced my opinion on what her team did to us (beat us 15-0 in one game).

So here is what I learned and my take away. For the special needs kid. Love them, even when you are frustrated and encourage any progress you see b/c most likely they don't get a lot of that. This was easy for me since I went to church with my special needs player and I could love on her at church and on the field.

Swallow pride in wanting to win. I thought I was the most competitive person in the world but youth sports will show you a very dark side in how corrupt building teams is, even in RECREATIONAL/Select league. There are back door deals made from one sport to another also. Politics are worse in sports than they are on the Hill.

For your team, build a TEAM. Every team I coached since that first year my approach was to not only about soccer but to build a team that became friends. That meant pizza parties, ice cream after the game. We had get together etc. etc. In reality there are only a small fraction of the team that will play in HS and a smaller chance they will play in college. But these kids will need to bond and build relationships that last a lifetime. They may be business associates, leaders in the community, just good old dang friends that each one can depend on. That is what you will make you proud as a coach.

Ive coached a few sports at park and rec and travel level for about a decade now between my two sons. You are in a tough situation for sure. Been there. The one thing you have to remember is this is not travel ball that you are coaching and also how you would want your child treated by the coach if they were the special needs child. I would start with your park and rec director and ask them how they expect you to handle the situation if it becomes detrimental to the child's safety. Then go and talk to the family like you suggested but at least by then you know that if you have to make tougher decisions, how park and rec will back you. 'Id be really blunt but compasionate with the parent/grandparent and ask them for their help with the child to make it as good an experience as possible. You are going to have to either play them in the outfield or at catcher with all the protective equipment on to keep them from getting hurt and if they catch then the ump can help control the situation as well(tell him in advance about the child). Ive had several kids who were terrible over the years but wanted to learn, you can help them, ive had a few who were forced to be there and were little crap heads and I treated them as such, ive had maybe 1 or 2 special needs and you really just have to love on them and keep them safe as best you can with the backing/help of league and parents. It may not me a bad idea to get an extra assistant or two and explain to them you need dedicated help for this little guy and that frees you up a little more to coach the rest of the team. As stated above the best reward is not winning,its when the young man remembers you down the road and calls you coach because you helped him somehow someway.

I agree. Recruit someone extra primarily to be responsible for this child to reduce safety risk.
These are 6 year old kids so he is not the only one likely to walk behind a swinging bat!
Just love the kid like you do any other team member. It'll make your heart feel good.

A great post and replies. I'm in the second season of my first year of coaching U6 girls soccer. I've never played soccer but am having fun coaching it. I don't have a special needs player, but I think the advice given here could apply to different situations also. I appreciate everyone's replies.

I coached my daughters 12u softball team one season and I was extremely lucky. We basically had a travel team and smoked everybody we played. As stated above you are in a no win situation. Talk to director/president of the league, voice your concerns for safety. Talk to the parents and see if they have any input on best way to handle the child. Just never take it out on the child. This is why I would like to see more special needs leagues created. There is one in Mobile close to where I work and I think that is awesome. And yeah stick the kid in the outfield way away from any action and let umps and other coaches know the situation before each game.

I appreciate the input from everybody. Looking forward to the season.

I strongly second meeting with the child's guardians. Get as much information about the child's needs, personality, likes/dislikes as possible from them. One thing about special needs kids is you can't assume anything.

spend some time with him 1 on 1. gain his trust, get as many assistant coaches as you can. every accomplishment that boy makes will make you so proud of him and smile bigger than you have ever smiled. enjoy, remember it is just baseball and having fun with kids. done it with 2 of mine, now I am almost happily retired from coaching. youngest is bout done

I helped coach Tee ball once. and every time a little girl put on a helmet she decided the ram all the coaches in the nuts. her parents never once looked up from there iphones......