DuckSouth.com

Well, since this is the General Discussion board, I I'll post this here.....if the mod's wanna dump it, I'd certainly understand.....my very good friend and co-worker just found out that his 19 yr. old son is gay....the kid is one of the nicest, outgoing, personable, and respected kids that I know, but he has never had any interest in any outdoor activities.....the kid has a great job, and is very independent....needless to say, his dad, who is a great hunter, fisherman, and all-around sports and outdoors man, went ballistic.....the mom is torn up, right now, but is really trying to accept and cope with the situation.

I've tried to be respectful to both parties, but as a Christian, I know homosexuality is a sin.....however, I also know that all sins can be forgiven.....the entire family are strong Christians, also, but this particular family situation is really bad, right now.....I was just wondering how you, who are parents, would react to and handle this situation ???

I don't really know. I'd like to think that I would respond with grace and continue to love my son and try to lead him to repent and turn to Christ. I would certainly not support or tolerate his lifestyle choice. I would not enable that choice and my house would not be used to enable it.

Certainly no magic wand for this situation. A sin is a sin, is a sin, its us (good christian folks) that assign value or weight to them. In God's eyes they are all the same. That being said as a parent and a Christian I have to hope and pray that my children understand that this behavior goes against God's word. It isn't ok to turn your back on his word in any situation. If this were adultry or a porn addiction would the family view it the same? I agree that I could not support or enable this decision in any way. Lot of value to the saying "love the sinner, not the sin." I'll be praying for this family in the days and weeks ahead.

I know a family going through this with a much older adult child and they continued to love the child but made it clear they didn't agree with the choice to not own it as a sin and repent. Then the child decided to marry (legally speaking of course), and that's when things really got tough. They won't allow the spouse in the home, but they are respectful of the child's choice.

The child unloaded on facebook about the whole thing and basically called the parents out for disownment. Which couldn't be further from the truth. But the parents just took all the comments that followed on the post in stride and didn't defend themselves. Basically allowed themselves to suffer through being accused of hate, discrimination, you name it, instead of defending themselves and making the adult child look like a true child.

I have a lot of respect for the parents. I'm sure it ate at them like no other to do what they did. And I believe they did it because they love their child and see that this life is not all there is. Christians are called to be faithful to the God that has revealed Himself in the scriptures, not to change the meaning of the scriptures according to what is the path of least resistance.

I cringe at the thought of 2 men being together, thats about all I got on that subject

I don't mean to make light of the seriousness of this situation, but it's these types of threads that make for great off season discussion.

Seems to me that how folks handle these situations can have very serious and long term effects of the nature of the relationships between the son and father, the mother and son, and the mother and father.

I don't know what the right answer is, but I am glad I'm not faced with that situation. If the day ever comes, I will really have to lean on the Lord for guidance, wisdom and understanding.

There has been some great advice and discussion on the topic already. I actually know a great family that has gone and is going through this very thing. The man is one of the Godliest individuals I know and I use him as a mentor as many others do as well. I have often heard him say how they pray for their son and let him know that the family loves them but condones the sin.

Honestly I believe I would flip out also. This is the type of thing that can destroy families. We need to pray that the family seeks the Lord's guidance. Personally if it was me I don't believe I could allow my sons partner in my house. I know I wouldn't recognize any sort of partnership/marriage. IMO that would be spitting the face of the Lord. I hope I would be willing, able and ready to accept my son back as soon as he repented just like the story in the Bible.

These types of discussions very often lead me to self-realization of what a wretched hypocrit I have been and continue to be.

Homosexuality isn't a choice, so I would prefer that my child come out early as opposed to late. Suppressing any part of who you are, especially something as important as sexuality, can be very damaging to personal development.

The Bible may refer to it as a sin, but all 8 billion of us on this earth are sinners, and there are much worse things to be doing than sleeping with someone of the same sex. I do think it a bit unreasonable to not accept the partner they have chosen or allow them into their home, but understand that this may be hard for a lot of people. However, I do think it's fine to ask that they refrain from extracurriculars in your house.

Either you believe the Bible or you don't. If you don't, then my opinion is worthless to the reader. But since I see all things through a biblical lense, the old "well sin is sin and we all sin" attitude doesn't fly. Yes we all sin, but in my house, we don't condone or create or encourage an atmosphere where sin may flourish. My home is not a petre dish for sin, if you will. Whatever debauchery goes on outside my little acre is what it is, but as for me and my house, we will serve The Lord. As for homosexuality being choice or not, everyone has a choice in regards to the actions they choose to partake in. For example, I love women....I do...there are women l see all the time that I am physically attracted to. How do I respond to that? I am responsible for it, am I not? I love to drink whiskey. I love to chew tobacco....but in spite of the urges to partake in those things, they violate my conscience, I believe that they would cause me to be disobedient to my Lord, and so I refrain. And guess what? It's not hard. I know folks say they're born a certain way, and I'm sure they are and all, but John 3:3 and stuff.

I have some dear friends who have had to deal with this same thing. Their son came out publicly in college. It crushed them, but they handled it as well as I suppose anyone could. They told him that they would always love him unconditionally and he was always welcome in their home. However, they could not condone that lifestyle choice and asked that he not bring his partner or whatever to their home. He was accepting of that because he has a pack of young nieces and nephews and rather create issues with them, when he's home he comes solo, out of respect for his family's beliefs. I might add that this young man was raised in a solid Christian home and for years played the role of an active Christian himself. But, since he made this decision he doesn't attend church anymore. Sin will separate you from God if you don't own it for what it is and deal with it scripturally.

Anyway, my heart goes out to those folks and to the son as well.

Edit: "played the role" - let me be clear, if you ask this young man he will tell you he is saved and is a Christian. I, not being God, have no choice but to accept his profession at face value. Sin can not steal one's salvation but it can lead a person down a prodigal road, and there is no person more miserable than a Christian out of fellowship with the Lord. I love this kid (he's almost 30 now but still a kid to me) and pray for him and his folks too.