For the Dads

[brake man]

My father recently passed away, and I have grieved the loss of my Dad who was the finest man I have ever known. I had the opportunity and privilege to speak at his funeral. Just wanted to share some of what was said to be an encouragement and exhortation to all of us Dads as we never know how long we will be on this earth. (Some names and other information have been omitted.)


It is a privilege for me to come speak to you today to share a few words about my Dad and, what would be more important to Dad, to share with you about his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Throughout my life, I knew my father firsthand as many of you have expressed you knew him.

He was a man who had a strong faith in Jesus Christ and who knew who he was in the Lord.

He had an enduring love for his wife, we children, his grandchildren, and his other family and friends.

He lived his life daily with honor, integrity, character, deep conviction and strong principles.

He was not afraid to stand up for what he believed.

He was a wise man who would willingly provide counsel and advice when asked.

And, he was a man of few words who preferred brevity and a “just the facts” approach during most discussions.

As I wrote in Dad’s obituary, he had a faith in Jesus Christ that permeated all aspects of his life and greatly impacted his family, friends, and those with whom he came into contact. This faith was not a Sunday morning / Wednesday night / church-events only type of faith but was a REAL relationship with his Lord and Savior. Dad was not a perfect man and did not claim to be. He was a man who knew he was a sinner saved by grace and wanted to share the good news of the grace of the gospel with others. The following verses were special to Dad:

Ephesians 2:1-10
As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesha and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. 4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast. 10For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

I cannot count the number of days I would walk into the den or porch early in the morning and find Dad with his Bible open in his lap or in prayer and see Mom doing the same in the living room. He lived out what he exhorted us to do and spent the time and energy to not only take us to church but also to have weekly family devotionals and to have individual quiet times with the Lord each day. Our family spent many, many occasions on our knees around the coffee table at Mom and Dad’s house as we lifted up a lifetime of things to the Lord. Just the past couple of days, I have been reminded by friends of my brother and me how some of them also joined us on their knees around the coffee table over the years.

The following passage from Deuteronomy was heard in our home many times and seemed to be how Dad wanted to live his life, especially with us children as we talked, just lived life, played golf, and as we spent time with Dad when we boys went on hunting and fishing trips with him.

Deuteronomy 11: 18-21
18Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 19Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 20Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, 21so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.

Nearly fifteen years ago, I started writing a book that began as a chronicle of hunts and other adventures so these would not be forgotten and so these could be shared with children my wife and I may have in the future. The rough draft of the unfinished book includes stories from my first duck hunt with Dad and brother down at the cypress brake where we have hunted for multiple generations at Dad’s family farm to backpacking trips across the country with my brother and many of our friends. One chapter that begged to be written was a compilation of “Lessons From Dad” that includes words of advice and wisdom that Dad said or demonstrated over my lifetime. Many of these items are in relationship to being a man, a sportsman, or an outdoorsman and have been wonderful to know for these many years. However, there are a few of the most important items that I believe Dad would want me to share with you today and urge you to share with your own children, family, friends, and those with whom you come into contact.

If you remember nothing else from I say this afternoon, I hope you will walk away with these words from a few of the items from the “Lessons From Dad” chapter written in your heart:

1. Give the first part of the day to the Lord and watch how He blesses the remainder of it.
2. Tell your children you love them every day of their lives
3. Give your children a hug and a kiss every time you see them.
4. Don’t be afraid to admit to your family or others when you are wrong or have made a mistake. The common “wisdom” that apologizing is a sign of weakness is – as Dad would say - a bunch of bunk.
5. Always tell the truth and do what is right, even if it means you have tough consequences. You will able to sleep well at night and can look at yourself in the mirror.
6. Don’t be a gossip or meddle in other’s affairs.
7. Be a man known for honesty, integrity, and discretion.
8. A good name takes a lifetime to build and only a moment to destroy.
9. Guard your tongue and your temper. Both can get you into a lot of trouble.

And, finally:

10. "LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND; AND YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF. Luke 10:27

Goodbye, Dad. You were the finest man I ever have ever known. Thank you for teaching me how to be a real man, how to love my family, and how to live out a real faith that glorifies the Lord. You will be greatly missed. I love you.

Today would have been my parents' anniversary so Mom and Dad have been on my heart today. Hope you don't mind my sharing this long post. God bless all of us Dads.

[the tree]

Well stated!

[BAY KINGFISHER]

Thanks for sharing.

[ShotgunSP]

That's a great testament. Thanks for sharing.

[Tedl10]

Well done!

[eSJay]

[Hambone]

Brake Man, I am sorry to hear that your Dad has left this world. I feel like I knew him after all the posts you made about the hunts that y'all shared in the cypress brake, as well as our phone conversations during duck season. Thanks for sharing a tribute to a great man whom I know you will miss greatly. Blessings and prayers to your family and you.

[SB]

A great tribute to a life well lived. Thank you for sharing with us.

[mshunter77]

Sorry for your loss and that is a beautiful piece you put together. I hope that one day I can be half the man my dad is.

[cwink]

Great tribute.. Thanks for sharing..

[jacksbuddy]

Now I'M crying. Thanks.

[brake man]

Many favorite photos of my Dad have come to mind these past few weeks. However, these are probably some of my favorite hunting-related pictures of Dad. Dang, I sure do wish I could hear him talk to me at least a few more times. Will always remember the last thing he said to me in the hospital after I told him I loved him, right before I was just about to leave the last evening visitation, and just a few hours before he was never again responsive: (in a very frail voice that was merely more than a whisper) "I love you, too." NEVER, ever take for granted every time you have a chance to tell your loved ones you love them, even those times you when may not like them at that moment.

Dad with older son on his first duck hunt.


Dad with younger son on his first duck hunt.


Back in the buck brush


With my brother and me


Opening weekend in 2011 with my boys and 10 month old Cooper on his second hunt


Dad's last hunt with me in our not-yet-finished blind at the brake.


Wish you guys could have met and spent time with my Dad. He was the epitome of a Southern gentleman who loved the Lord and his family deeply. He grew up with Beaver Dam literally as part of his back yard and the Mississippi River levee adjacent to the farm. By the age of 10, he would leave the house by himself or maybe with a farm hand with only a shotgun or fishing pole in his hand and would be gone until dark. Back then, he had the run of that whole area and had many adventures. The principal used to write him excuse letters so he could be late for school during duck season so you know that was back in the good ol' days.

Dad's favorite line when we would come in complaining about being cold, wet, and miserable after a duck hunt: "Son, if you're not wet and not cold, you're not duck hunting."

[SCOOTER]

Thanks for sharing, a great man is known for this Faith